Repeating instructions and forgetting appointments

samz429

Hello, new to the forum, excited to get started. My mom not diagnosed with alz yet, but lots of symptoms. Constant repeating instructions, daily occurrence. Confused and forgets doctor appointments. Not sure how much more I can help, daily I remind and go over instructions,

terei

It’s no use to keep repeating + reminding. She needs have direction at the time she has to leave or do something which means AL or MC facility or a live in caretaker.

H1235

Welcome! I have attached a link for new caregivers. There are so many more symptoms in addition to memory loss(logic, reasoning, executive functioning, empathy, personality changes, attention span are just a few) The staging tool is helpful and I would also recommend understanding the dementia experience. If you don’t have a durable power of attorney I would recommend seeing an elder law attorney. There are treatable cases that should be ruled out. When seeing a doctor I found it worked best to send notes to the doctors through a patient portal. A common symptom of dementia is anosognosia. It is the inability to recognize their own symptoms or limitations. This can cause a lot of problems. Many with dementia can’t understand why family is taking away all their freedoms. This can cause anger. Trying to reason with them or convince them there is a problem is pointless. She will not come to you and ask for help since she probably doesn’t realize there is anything wrong. Reminders aren’t going to work! Sorry but when you say what more can I do, well you need to do everything. You need to get her to the doctor, the lawyer and possibly to a living environment where she is safe. I know this is a lot to take in. I hope you find something here that will help.

https://alzconnected.org/group/32-new-caregiver-help

lisn2cats

It's definitely overwhelming. I am new to this forum too, but have found so many kind souls …. and, if anything, a place to talk openly about the frustrations, fear, and sadness. My mom is not diagnosed though I did send a note to her PCP (whom she trusts and takes as the word of a higher being) describing the short term memory loss and, more recently, sudden changes in personality via texts. The woman is 90 and texts faster than I can!

I love that her symptoms have a name - though I can't pronounce it - anosognosia. It took me a lot of reading here and talking with others, but reasoning and arguing is pointless. With my mom, it turns either into an unpleasant confrontation or a barage of nasty texts (in two languages no less).

Read all you can here; look for local resources and support groups (I've been looking at online and inperson groups - sometimes you just need a hug from someone who really understands); contact your local office of aging for advice (ours partner with a major hospital and has tons of resources and, if and when necessary, can assign a case manager); talk to memory care specialists (though my mom hates accuses me of trying to drive her crazy by having an aide visit 3x a week - heavy sigh); etc. Depending on where she lives, the office of aging visits in a way that is not confrontational. Where my mom, they said that they would visit under the intention of making sure her house is safe for her to live on her own and, during the visit, do a subtle assessment.

IDK, this is all so new and so confusing for those of us who are facing this for the first time. I wish you well and am sending you a virtual hug.

samz429

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/238795#Comment_238795

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/238795#Comment_238795

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/238791#Comment_238791

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/238795#Comment_238795