My Mom Finally Got An Official Diagnosis

Penn34

So after almost three months, my mom has officially been diagnoised with major cognitive disorder, aka dementia by a geriactic care provider. According to her, silent strokes from a while back (which affected her brain) and my mom's unresolved grief with my Dad were major contributing factors.

It has been recommended that she receive psychiatric treatment & meds, which will be set up to concide with my sister's next visit (I don't drive due to anxiety and she is the only one who can take her. She lives out of state but tries to visit once a month, though her next visit won't be until July due to her work schedule being packed).

My main concern is getting additional help caring for my mother, because I have been her primary caregiver for 12 years since the age of 22, and her developing dementia has traumatized me and negatively affected my mental health. My geriatic care provider is going to put me in touch with a social worker that will hopefully provide resources, but I am pessimistic every attempt at getting help has either been super restrictive (I can't get paid to be my mom's caregiver unless I sacrifice my freelance writing career b/c I wouldn't be allowed to have income) or a super letdown (my older brother refuses to help despite living in the same state as me and my mom's niece is too busy with work to help out since she is a manager).

I'm just sad and angry that things ended up like this and I'm scared that I will never get the extra help I need. I have had recurring thoughts of suicide for two years because I have gotten so burnt out and overwhelmed sometimes. Been in therapy for a year and it has helped some, but it hasn't been a cure all. I am thankful we finally have a diagnosis but I am bone tired emotionally.

sandwichone123

I'm so sorry you are in this very tough situation. If you were not there, what would happen with your mother? Would she be on institutional Medicaid and cared for in a memory care facility?

Many parents would not want their children to spend their entire early adulthood providing care rather than building their own lives and futures. I think it is a worthwhile use of energy to find out what other options there are for her care that would afford you the freedom that everyone else in your family is enjoying while you shoulder the responsibility year after year. It's your turn to live.

SDianeL

So sorry you are going through this with your Mom. Check with your County Aging Agency. They may have daycare for seniors you can utilize. If your Mom qualifies for Medicaid they will pay for memory care. Medicare does not. They also provide transportation to doctor appts. Ask her doctor if there is a Case Manager or Social Worker who can guide you.