Alexa assistance

wisconsindaughter

Good morning! I am new to this community. My father, who lives in Florida, was diagnosed last fall with Mild Cognitive Impairment. Upon further testing, it was determined Alzheimers related. I'm in Wisconsin. He lives independently, but has a partner he spends his days with. He does not live with her. She is 85 and has been a blessing in helping us determine the extent of his issues. He won't leave Florida to be closer to me, or to my brother in Arkansas. I'm considering an Alexa in his home to help him with reminders to take medications, keep appointments and such. I don't have one of my own, and I'm wondering if anyone uses such a device and which would be the easiest for him to work with. He's pretty tech savvy, but his short term memory is awful.

H1235

Welcome! I’m glad you found us. I can’t really speak to the Alexa. We did use cameras in the home for a while with mom. Since his diagnosis is fairly new I wanted to suggest making sure legal matters are handled. He is going to need to appoint a durable power of attorney. He may also want to do a living will and medical power of attorney. This is such a difficult time. It’s so hard to know how involved you need to be and what he is truly capable of still doing independently. People with dementia often have anosognosia. This is the inability to recognize their own symptoms or limitations. With that in mind there will probably never come a time when he says I’m not safe to live in my house anymore I want to move closer to you. If his short term memory is bad will he remember to shut off the stove when he is done? Would he leave the house and call 911 if there was a fire or try to put it out himself. I’ve heard many people say they had no idea how bad things were until they spent the night with their pwd. Assisted living facilities can have a waiting list. In my opinion it’s always good to have a plan B. Sorry I know this is not what you asked about.

ARIL

Not to be Eeyore, but I’ve managed a parent’s care from multiple states away—with lots of trips and overnight visits—and it’s tough. If your dad’s short-term memory is already weak, he really doesn’t need to be handling meds. A responsible other person needs to do that for him. Even if he is positively responsive to an Alexa reminder, what’s to prevent him taking extra meds at other times, taking the wrong meds, dropping the pills and forgetting about them, and so on?

You’ll need to be thinking about alternative arrangements; this disease only gets worse, sad to say.

JulietteBee

Here is my response to your specific question, based on personal experience. I use an Alexa Echo Show with my DM who I moved, last summer, into an IL facility 1 mile from my house.

She previously lived in her own house. My hubby got her an Alexa dot. She loved it when she was taught that she could ask it the date, but more so, she could ask it to tell her a joke…lol🤣

Within months, we saw it was moved to her living room, from her bedroom. Why? Someone fed into her paranoia and told her it could spy on her.💔

When I moved her to IL, she was constantly found to have unplugged the dot and was storing it in her night table drawer.

We then got her the Alexa Echo Show which is the one with the camera and screen, most likely to do the spying.

I have that in her living room. I program it with reminders of her medical appointments, the facility's monthly calendar of events, and her housekeeper's arrival time. I also set alarm clocks for days she has appointments. I also set it up with daily routines to tell her the date, the time, and the weather. I schedule it to play religious music for the first 1.5 hours after awakening. At night, I have a countdown routine of checking door, make final call (typically to me), brush teeth, take bedtime meds, check front door lock, carry in water, and go to bed.

She listens intently to her reminders, and for the most part follows instructions. She can even tell Alexa to "Call for help" and Alexa calls me. Using Alexa for your dad can be beneficial. However, it is NOT a longterm solution. Invariably, you are going to need to provide more hands-on personalized care.

I also have a Ring camera that I check in on her with. I have seen my mom take out her meds, put them on the table to go get water (I presume) but she never returns to take them. Like someone said above, I've also found random white pills on the floor. She was not aware she dropped it and as most of her pills are white, we are then left not knowing which one she needs to take., leaving her to miss that day's dose.

SDianeL

welcome. Sorry about your Dad’s diagnosis. In my opinion Alexa will be a very short term solution and as others said not 100% effective. In my opinion, he should no longer be left alone. He could start a fire and not know what to do. He should no longer be driving. If he has a diagnosis and is in an accident, he could be sued and lose everything, even if it’s not his fault. He is now vulnerable for scams. As mentioned above, you need DPOA and HIPPA, Will and other documents. Talk to a CELA attorney immediately. Don’t wait to make a plan for his care and long term care. You can call the Alzheimer’s toll free number for assistance and resources. If your Dad is a veteran there are different levels of assistance and resources at the VA. Medicare does not pay for long term care. He would have to qualify for Medicaid. If you haven’t done so, search online for the 7 stages of dementia chart showing behaviors. Also read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which helped me after my husband’s diagnosis. Come here often for info and support.

harshedbuzz

@wisconsindaughter

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

Yours is a difficult situation. Some thoughts:

There is no tech device that replaces the supervision of an actual human being. If dad can't reliably manage his meds, then another human needs to oversee them. That means ordered, locked up and distributed by an aide daily to make sure they are taken as directed. This can get expensive, especially if he takes multiple does per day. Agency aides run about $40/hour with a 2-hour minimum where I live. If he's like most PWD, he really isn't going to like this especially when he finds out what this invasion of his privacy is costing him.

That the partner reached out is a good thing. It could be that her interest in being with him is waning as the disease progresses; PWD aren't often a whole lot of fun. They can be boring, repetitive, apathetic, irritable and lack empathy for others. At 85, it is very likely this woman has been a caregiver in the past and isn't looking to take on what is your (you and your brother) responsibility. Her call to you may have been a request to take over.

Even if she is willing and wanting to transition into more of a caregiver, she's 85. Would you hire someone her age to be a caregiver? By virtue of her age, you need a very robust Plan B.

And if she is not an ethical person, she could be taking advantage of your dad, perhaps justifying it as some sort of compensation for caregiving. This is sadly very common.

PWD are not accurate reporters. He may be telling you they spend the day together when in fact they don't. When I moved dad north, he complained bitterly about missing his golfing, days at the pool and social life in Florida. This made me feel terrible for having moved him however much it was necessary. Then I went down to clear out his house ahead of selling it as POA. A bunch of neighbors streamed through; they all reported having not seen dad in about 4 years except when it was their turn to host neighborhood happy hour— he wasn't swimming, golfing or meeting friends for dinner except in his mind.

My other concern and a big part of my reason for moving my parents out of Florida was their robust private guardianship industry.

https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/families-demand-action-against-florida-guardianship-abuse-and-fraud-301381621.html

In your shoes, I would make a plan to move him nearer you or your brother once a DPOA is in place. You might have some time before this is absolutely necessary, but that day will come sooner than you hope.

HB

psg712

We tried Alexa for my mom for a short time. She could not comprehend that it was us speaking with her in real time, and it seemed to unnerve her after a while. The only advantage was that it allowed us a window into her behavior at home, which was enlightening. Then she turned it upward toward the ceiling, and that was the end of that!

JulietteBee

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/247942#Comment_247942

I had to laugh. In the past 2-3 weeks, my mom has been "closing Alexa's eye," thereby preventing me from seeing her. 🙃

kst54

You could certainly give it a try; setting it up might be challenging without you being there. I have one in my parents' kitchen that reminds them to take pills, gives them schedule reminders etc. and I'd say it's marginally successful. My Mom has very little short-term memory left and listens to the message, then says "I'll do that later" because she's also pretty opposed to any suggestions - then she forgets. I tried a reminder an hour later and Dad says she sometimes tells Alexa something rude and still doesn't take her pills. My Dad does like it, and he's used the "call for help" option more than once. So it's been a mixed result.