DH won’t let me change him

easy23

My DH is in memory care and won’t let the aides or me change his wet Depends. He gets very agitated if I ask him and has punched me. He does the same with the aides.
It doesn’t matter what time of day I try. It is always a battle. The Dr put him on depakote to try to help with these behaviors but it hasn’t made a difference.

Any suggestions?

tigersmom

@easy23 , i am sorry this is happening. My DH was only in memory care for a month, and I can tell you how they dealt with it. Four people would surround him, and they would quickly shepherd him into the one-person restroom. They would have the supplies at the ready. If they were missing something and i was there, i would run and get it from his toom. It was not easy, but they would sit him down on the toilet and talk gently to him and get it done. Usually it was better if i stayed outside. Changing your DH now should not be your responsibility. I am sure you are paying them a lot of money to care for him. Speak to the director of nursing and, if need be, to the administrator to make a plan, Depakote didn’t work for my husband, either, and if it is going to work, it will take time. If all else fails, he may need a geripsych admission to figure out what does. Good luck to you andd your husband. This part is hard.

Denise1847

Ask the doctor for Seroquel (Quetiapine).

SDianeL

so sorry he is at this point. My DH also did this. They increased his Risperidone and added Depakote. It finally helped but caused him to sleep most of the time. We had no choice. The facility can’t have their staff injured. So sad.

easy23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/248048#Comment_248048

I would rather he sleep than behave like this!

Dio

This happened to my DH too. The Depakote took about 6 weeks to fully work. It's not a pain killer that works right away. Be patient. Is he taking anti-anxiety meds like Seroquel in addition to Depakote?

easy23

He started depakote 4 weeks ago and also takes 4mg daily of risperidone.

Dio

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/248092#Comment_248092

what's dosage?

easy23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/248197#Comment_248197

125 mg three times a day

Dio

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/248199#Comment_248199

Mine is on 250mg 2x a day.

easy23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/248354#Comment_248354

thank you! He is starting to be less agitated. He still won’t let the staff help him but he is changing himself if I leave his clothes out. He has also stopped cursing at me and trying to punch me.

Dio

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/248466#Comment_248466

That's wonderful! Hope this calm continues.