DH won’t let me change him

@easy23 , i am sorry this is happening. My DH was only in memory care for a month, and I can tell you how they dealt with it. Four people would surround him, and they would quickly shepherd him into the one-person restroom. They would have the supplies at the ready. If they were missing something and i was there, i would run and get it from his toom. It was not easy, but they would sit him down on the toilet and talk gently to him and get it done. Usually it was better if i stayed outside. Changing your DH now should not be your responsibility. I am sure you are paying them a lot of money to care for him. Speak to the director of nursing and, if need be, to the administrator to make a plan, Depakote didn’t work for my husband, either, and if it is going to work, it will take time. If all else fails, he may need a geripsych admission to figure out what does. Good luck to you andd your husband. This part is hard.

so sorry he is at this point. My DH also did this. They increased his Risperidone and added Depakote. It finally helped but caused him to sleep most of the time. We had no choice. The facility can’t have their staff injured. So sad.

This happened to my DH too. The Depakote took about 6 weeks to fully work. It's not a pain killer that works right away. Be patient. Is he taking anti-anxiety meds like Seroquel in addition to Depakote?