The state investigated last week's incident and says my DH has to move...help

cdgbdr

Brenda, I feel for you. I am placing DH soon and fear these things

harshedbuzz

@weareallunique said:

In California they mandated an annual long form from the Doctor and a lab test or chest xray every year to see if people in a residential home are at the "right level"- which sounds nice but how are these folks going to be transported to the doctor , if they can't stand for an xray etc [a TB check]. And who gets "better" in memory care?

Most facilities have mobile radiology and phlebotomy services on-call. Chest films can be done in the patient's bed. Medical transport is used for patients who need to see a doctor outside the facility.

There are some PWD who do improve in a MCF for a time. My aunt was one. She'd previously been living alone with no help. She positively blossomed with proper nutrition, hygiene assistance, her medication as prescribed and social interaction.

HB

PS I totally agree about the 2-hour toileting schedule. If ever there was a group who needed good restorative sleep, it would be those in MC.

easy23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/250196#Comment_250196

I slept over at my DH's MC a few nights last month. The aides came into the room every two hours, turned on the ceiling light and yelled out "are you wet?"

harshedbuzz

@easy23

Ugh. Dad's MCF did well checks every 2 hours, but they used a flashlight when checking.

Lorita

I can see the wellness checks but awakening the patients is uncalled for. Easy 23, yelling like that in the middle of the night could frighten anyone much less a person with dementia who could startle easily. I would have a good talk with the Administrator.

Leesee

My DH is at his worst when he first wakes up. Whether he's getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, or first thing in the morning, he's always delusional.

The only time I witnessed him having a hallucination, was when he woke up to use the bathroom. I happened to be awake and he told me he couldn't use the bathroom because there was a 'little girl' in there. I went with him and looked into the bathroom and he asked me if I could see the little girl. I said no, and I walked into the bathroom and came back out and told him she was gone and he could use the bathroom.

Many mornings start with delusional stories. Just this past weekend, he cried while telling me a completely delusional story. Once he's awake for a few minutes, it passes.

I don't know if this is common with dementia patients; if it is, the MC needs to watch for behavior issues when waking up patients every 2 hours.

Karen711

Sounds like you are doing what you need to do, and there’s some good advice above! You were smart to reach out to the ombudsman, but wish you could have the care manager Camp Carol mentions as well. You need support and to make it clear there are “eyes” on this! I’m so sorry you’re going through this! My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Karen

White Crane

The Ombudsman called yesterday afternoon. She was very nice but said there really wasn't anything her office could do. She had talked to the administrator at MC and also consulted with her own supervisor. She said in cases where DHSS steps in and orders an emergency discharge, she can't help. She also said that if the state does indeed order this, it usually happends quickly and I might not even have a chance to file an appeal before he is moved to anther facility. I also talked to the administrator at MC and she told me another person from DHSS was there yesterday. She showed her everything the facility is doing to monitor my husband and prevent anything from happening again. Then she told me that the state now has 10 business days to issue their decision. I called DHSS myself just now and the agent was out of the office. The secretary said she would leave a message for her to call me but it probably won't be today. Still no word from my elderlaw attorney. Also, when I talked to the administrator, I said I wanted to by a door alarm for DH door. She said no they don't want resident's doors closed at night in case they would fall. She also shot down my wanting him to be left alone at night and not woken up every two hours. She then told me she had spent some time with him yesterday and what a nice man he is and what a good voice he has…they sang some songs together. Maybe she was trying to placate me. I'm feeling so angry and sad and worried that my hands are shaking. I'm thinking about visiting the only other nearby memory care to see if they have improved since the last time I was there. This is a nightmare!

M5M

Oh, Brenda, this run-around is so stressful and ridiculous.. I think your plan to check out the other facility is a good idea. I would also call the elder attorney or find another one. A good/feisty attorney should get some action. Perhaps the attorney could summon all the parties to a round table meeting and find a solution. However you choose to handle this, know that we all support you and share your distress. Hold your head high and protect your husband's best interests.

I would also challenge the concept that DH "groped" this other resident. No one was in the room but the two residents. He had his hand on her, can they truly prove exactly where that hand was placed? Are there photographs? I could easily see him sleepily getting into the bed and lying close to the person, even with his arm around, but I would not allow the narrative to make unproven claims. At least the word "allegedly" needs to be in there.

easy23

I agree that you should call the elder attorney again. Leave an urgent message or an e-mail. Maybe they're on vacation. If so, find someone else - fast. You need representation now.

JeriLynn66

Brenda, I’m praying for you and DH❤️

CampCarol

I would also challenge them not monitoring the halls if they're leaving everybody's door open at night. My DH's MC locked all doors if they were not inside, day or night. Any resident could get out at any time, but not into somebody else's room!

l7pla1w2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/250107#Comment_250107

I think most cellphones have, or can get, a voice recorder app. No need to buy something extra.

l7pla1w2

More about geriatric care managers. This is slightly off-topic, but important. If you are alone and need medical attention, the geriatric care manager can help you get it and can advocate for you. I realized I would need one if I didn't go into a continuing care retirement community that could provide assisted living.

weareallunique

You'll need an elder law attorney who litigates - yours maybe great on the paperwork and advise but not eager to step on toes by being aggressive - even up to filing suit. Probate court where , in my state, these things are handled is a small world — the clients , well they churn pretty quick- fellow lawyers and the govt employees stay forever , so not all elder lawyers want to duke it out .

Have you talked to a care manager— they could have practical advise abt what is realistic. Ask about the 2 hour wakey wakey too.

Also, call your state reps — DHSS is state , right? Maybe a call from them can sway the final decision before it's made . What do they expect the family to do - drop their loved one at a homeless shelter?