Update on Memory Care transition

Jo124c

My DH has been in MC now for 34 days. He continues to have delusions about his safety and mine, but I have found that he starts down that path if I am with him too long and there are no outside activities going on. So for now what is working is coming for scheduled walks and bus rides on Tues. and Thursday, and taking him out for lunch on Saturday. Then leaving which continues to be difficult for me, but the staff is good at redirection.

Just as he is delusional about how he arrived at MC and who is 'threatening' us, I am also delusional—my delusion is that when I arrive I will see my husband of 50 years next month instead of the person he has become. He is agreeable about what I've planned for us, but is pretty silent, we have conversations like people who have just met… and he has trouble with finding the restroom of places we are at during our Saturday lunches even if he's already used the bathroom. His cognitive declines continue and my wish for my old companion continues.

I am split with my heart wishing I had him home and my intellect knowing placement was necessary and that I am lucky to have a good safe place where he is well cared for.

ladyzetta

Jo124. Your on the right path , planning the visits to MC to visit your DH. I also planned visits when I saw my DH, but my visit plans often changed depending on his condition. I would take him for coffee and a drive through for lunch. Then we would go park at the park and enjoy our lunch. When I took him for walks, they were just around the facility, so we were always close to a bathroom. You take care of yourself and go with the flow at MC, things will change , the most important thing now is his safety and care. Hugs Zetta

annie51

Thank you for keeping us updated on this. I have seriously been thinking about memory care and your experiences will be helpful to me. I hope you’ll find it easier as time goes on.