Never know when something will trigger profound grief...

SDianeL

I went to get a band-aid for my finger and found this. As my husband's dementia progressed, he couldn't remember the word for Band-Aids. So he took them out of the box and put them in this zip-lock bag and wrote BAND-AIDs on it…. I found myself with tears coming down my cheeks. Such a small thing but such a sadness… I know you all understand. We never know when something will remind us of them. Hugs to you all. 💜

howhale

I have found and keep finding things that trigger my breakdown response. It can be the least thing and the breakdown comes unexpectedly. It causes me to manage my activities with others or outside the home carefully, for fear of it happening and frightening others. We kept stumbling upon things that almost seemed to have been put there or we were guided to them by my wife which we began to call "coincidences". In time they became too numerous and frequent to call coincidences any longer. I find things for which we made a change or adjustment to help my wife or protect her or guide her. The tears just start. There is so much we did over the course of her disease to try to keep the home functional for us all that I am surprised by just how much. While each new "find" triggers the tears, it also brings me closer to her once again. Often I just sit with the item or situation and stare at it or touch it and think about her.

fmb

Oh @SDianeL and @howhale! I can so relate to this! I had a grief meltdown yesterday before I went to the hair salon. It was the first time to have my hair cut since he died. I was thinking that my hair that had brushed his cheek when I'd lean over to give him a kiss was going to end up on the salon floor. I mean, it's only hair, right? But it felt like losing a little more of him. Yes, it's the little things…..

((((Hugs)))) to you both.

troubledone

Thanks for sharing.

Eloise0304

This week marks 6 weeks since he passed, and I was looking at a note pad and saw that he was trying to remember the t v station's I won't be tossing this note pad…I can relate

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howhale

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257259#Comment_257259

The image you shared reminded me of pieces of paper I put away during my wife's struggle. There is a paper napkin on which she wrote my name when a caregiver was engaging with her. Written as if by a child but the last time she ever wrote my actual name herself. By that time she often could not recall my name or that I was her husband but she just knew I still belonged. yes, those seemingly insignificant things at the time become precious later. For all who are still walking the path with their loved one, save everything, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. In time it may be all you have left to touch and hold.