NEWLY DIAGNOSED VASCULAR DEMENTIA

phycheexe

Hi! I'm Matt, 21, 4th yr CpE student. My mother was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia literally a few minutes ago. During the doctor's assessment, I can see the massive decline in her cognitive function, which saddens me extremely.

It breaks my heart to see my mother suffer from this. She is a pre-school teacher and she loves teaching kids. She is my main supporter in my finances as college student event though her salary is below minimum wage, though my aunts support me with monthly allowance. I have great opportunities waiting for me in my field and university as I am the President of our student organisation, and VP in our region.

I am her only child. My father already passed last 2020. Can anyone tell me how to start or be strong now that my mother will probably relieve her job and stay at home? How can I adjust to this new setup? How can I man up and graduate through this challenge? Please anyone help me.

JulietteBee

"Minutes ago?" That is insane. I am so sorry.

I would strongly suggest you submit a FAFSA to start your student loan application process. In addition, most college campuses offer students on campus jobs in almost every department.

To "man up," you will now have to do work-study programs and self-finance your education. Also, there are grants available to children with a disabled parent. Once mom applies for, and gets disability income, you can then apply for those grants.

All the best!

Cobalt

if you are a 4th year student then you graduate soon, right? I’m unfamiliar with your field of study. This makes a big difference to your options. Your mother will not necessarily decline really fast so I’m unsure why you are thinking she’s going to retire and be at home. She will have many steps to follow in getting her insurance and/or disability help needed. If she’s old enough for Social Security she will need advice on getting that soon, maybe planning ahead before she leaves her job. If too young for Social Security she may apply for SSDI, disability income. This takes a lot of effort and will take a long time.

If you are a dependent on your mother’s taxes, you may actually get Social Security income as well, based on your mother’s status with Social Security. There are simply so many options you will both start looking into. Which state you live in also makes a difference in benefits. Please don’t catastrophise: you’ll find your way, both of you. And likely nothing has to happen instantly so you have time to build support.

eaglemom

Phycheeze welcome to the message board. I'm sorry you have to be here, but we are here to help you as best we can.

You story certainly is heartbreaking. First you need to take a set back and take some deep breaths. If you remain somewhat calm, your mom will see that and relate to that. If you get all spun up she'll equally relate to that - you don't want that.

I don't know if your mom can file for disability. Being a teacher the rules are different. Sadly since your father passed, I'm assuming your name is on her accounts? If not that needs to happen immediately. Here is the big one - is she driving? Ride in the car with her. You'll know immediately if she can continue driving or not.

I don't want to overwhelm you. Ask questions, vent, whatever is needed for you to help your mom. Remember its about helping your mom be safe now. Her safety is your priority.

eagle