What's the one thing that gets to you the most

beachwalker5

Newbie here (first post!), a lot of helpful and insightful info on these forums, thank you all for sharing your experiences. Sorry for long post but here goes:

My DW is in early stage here (wife diagnosed in early Dec by PCP with MCI after one-page "mini mental state exam" for which her doc then gave her several neuro MD referrals. I and our adult children and a few friends have noticed symptoms for + two years but the memory and cognitive signs have gotten significantly worse over the last six months. She is still pretty self-sufficient with ADL's but I've taken over bill paying, trip planning and driving. She's really struggling lately using her cell phone/ iPad/ laptop.

The biggest challenges I've had so far are 1) her anosognosia ("no need to go to neuro doc! I'm perfectly fine"!) and 2) my own difficulties in reacting negatively/ judgmental/ critical/ condescending when I get frustrated with her new struggling behaviors or being at a loss of what to do when she's hyper emotional/ anxious/ angry/ reactive. Also the roller coaster ride of one day her saying "yeh, maybe I should go get checked out" followed the next day be a total 180 change of mind….frustrating!!!!

Her daughter recently shared her concerns for her mother which seemed to flip a switch, she talked to me the next day about wanting to go consult with a neuro doc for further testing/ diagnosis. I quickly made some calls/ emails to schedule something… 🤞….not looking forward to if/ when she refuses to go….

Concerning my own behavioral problems, I've started to attend a local caregiver/ spouse support group and am already getting some helpful feedback/ tips. I'm also researching/ reading info for caregivers. Like everyone else here, I'm human and will likely make mistakes and occasionally behave poorly, I need to forgive myself, try to adjust and move forward supporting my DW the best I can.

I lost my mother, my brother and my aunt to AD and have to work at not assuming my DW is headed down the same path and/ or at the same rate of progression.
thanks for reading/ listening.

CindyBum

Welcome and so sorry you "get" to join us.

If it helps…..Early on, I stopped telling my DW what doctor we were going to. I just told her it's your normal doctor check up for everything. It saved me a lot of headache.

beachwalker5

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/264079#Comment_264079

Thank you CindyBum for the tip. I don't think things have progressed to a point where that would work today. In a few months, who knows? "Rate of progression " is one of the variables that I'm learning is impossible to predict with pre-dementia/ dementia. Best to enjoy each day we're together and still relating as husband & wife and don't over-stress/ over-obsess about what might be ahead?

Cardenas1816

For me it’s the fact that I’m the only one he gets mad at. We are empty nesters so I’m the only one around for him to take his anger out on. And it’s especially hard because he was such a happy guy before Alzheimer’s disease.

debriesea

Not being able to have a casual conversation with DH. It was becoming too stressful for him to try and figure out what I was saying and I had to explain the simplest things in different ways until he either figured it out or he gave up.

Mitsu2

It's changed as this disease has progressed, but right now it's the shadowing. We live in a small house and my husband watches everything I do, and follows me from room to room. He listens to phone calls, and watches my computer screen. I've had to hide sharps, all important documents, and anything else he might damage or take into his "office" where it disappears. He doesn't take naps and I have to go to bed when he does, so I seldom get any breaks. Right now he's sleeping later than usual, so I can read this forum, check emails and the news until he wakes up.