MOM IS WAKING FAMILY MEMBERS TO FIND CAT THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT … HELP !!

sfilsin

My mom lives in the same house as me and my family and has for the last 10 years. We have a family cat that over these years has decided, especially in the last six months to a year only have … meaning she is completely fixated and obsessed with all things cat related.

All day she asks where the cat is if he’s not with her. She wanders back-and-forth dozens of times the day making sure the cat has food. She tries to move the and or sneak food to him. And she constantly wants him with her …

there is no reasoning … there is no explaining … there is no way to get her to understand that he is a living being with his own wants and needs and she gets very upset especially when sundowning …

BUT NOW … she is up throughout the night, waking up members of the family and asking where the cat is … HELP !!

I don’t know how to “fix” this …

THANK YOU for reading … 🙏🏼

terei

Is there another family member that could take the cat for awhile? It might help if the cat was not there, temporarily. If so, a Joy for all cat could be introduced + she might transfer her attention to that. I would also talk to her doctor. Sometimes this obsessive behavior can be moderated with meds.

H1235

I have seen life like robotic type dogs. I wonder if they make a cat one. Would something like this help her? So sorry.

MN Chickadee

Good suggestions above. My mother was also obsessed with the cat and started feeding it all the time. We hid the cat food and then she started feeding it weird things she found in the kitchen. It was a really challenging phase. She actually did take to a robo-cat (Joy For All brand.) At first she kind of new t was fake but didn't mind. Eventually she thought it was real. It went to memory care with her eventually and was her best friend. But mostly it was a hard time we just had to get through. We put locks on many cabinets and the fridge, both due to her feeding the cat and just rummaging around and spoiling food.

I would consult your mom's doctor about medication for sleeping. My mom would get up and play the piano at 3 am which woke up the whole house. Her doctor added a medication (in her case Mirtazapine worked well) and then she started sleeping through the night. You might find that even if the cat didn't exist she would be up in the night fretting about something else. Nigh waking or flipping days and night is common but also extremely disruptive and often the catalyst to families having to move their LO to memory care because fatigue wears thin fast.

SDianeL

Two things I learned here: 1) never argue with someone with dementia and 2) you can’t reason with someone whose reasoner is broken. You will never get her to understand. Either a robo cat or medications for sleep or both might help. Sorry you are going through this.