How to answer, "Why are you here?"

Jeff H

My DW in the late evening often asks, "Why are you here?" I say I'm your husband but that agitates her more. I then say I'm here to keep you safe and that has the same response. Any attempt at deflection doesn't work.

It usually subsides after awhile but I was wondering what you all have experienced.

Cat K

I don't know if this will help you, but my PCP suggested that I tell DH "I'm here to help you and take care of you." Sometimes it worked.

Goodlife2025

Maybe try a big smile and say I am here because I am lucky enough to be your favorite person. Telling my DW I am her person or she is my person seems to calm her more than other answers.

Biggles

After a number of failed attempts at why am I here I generally deflect with a big smile, a kiss on the lips if we are physically close together and I say “to make you a cup of coffee, or tea, or a toasted sandwich” and slip into ..shall I make a toasted cheese. It’s important to be on the same wave length as your DO you can use ‘so I can vacuum the floor, or make the bed, or play some music. Whatever it takes. It’s emotionally exhausting but for me it works.

jgreen

”Because I love you” works for me.

yardman49

The question from DW more often is "Who are you and why are you here?" I respond with a caress to her back and say " I am your husband and I am here to care for you. to love you and protect you." This usually works along with strong eye contact. if not then I just try a little later.

This occurrence is frustrating, but we do what we have to do to keep that critical personal contact.

Jeff H

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/267269#Comment_267269

Yes, I tried that too. She just cocked her head at me and said, "No you don't" I'll keep trying. Thank you.

tboard

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75486/how-to-answer-why-are-you-here

Maybe try "because I don't have anyplace else to go"

tonyac2

How about, “beats me, I don’t know”

I often answer I don’t know and it ends the questioning.