How do you transition to "Depends" without a battle?

Jeff H

My DW is getting closer to needing "Depends" underwear or similar. I just can't imagine that she will accept wearing them. I could remove all of her regular underwear and put "Depends" in the drawer but I'm not sure that will work. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all!

blacksparky

Jeff I would love to hear any ideas from the folks that have already crossed this line. Our wives are both about the same stage/progression. I have started looking into the different kinds available and have noticed that some look just like regular underware. I imagine these probably don’t hold a lot of liquid. My problem now is to get my DW to actually change her clothes. The only time she will change is when I finally talk her into taking a shower which is now averaging every 5 days. Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this.

SDianeL

replace them and see. Tell her they are the latest in special underwear. Even get you some if you have to and fib to her. Try in the morning when she may be more receptive.

jgreen

Hi, @Jeff H and @blacksparky

I agree with @SDianeL - go ahead and replace underwear with the depends. You might try the ones that look more like undies at first and then graduate to the more absorbent ones as needed. There are also ‘liners’ for leakage if you want to start with those. You can tell your DWs that you need those too because you sometimes have an ‘accident’ when you cough.

I did this (replaced briefs) with DH and it worked for us. And DH also goes several days before showering. Not a battle I am willing to undergo at the present time.

Best of luck you two.

ronda b

Not taking a shower is part of of this disease . Get some rinseless disposable cloths and give her a G I wash or hit and miss.

BPS

I got the depends and put them in the draw with her regular undies and slowly reduced the regular ones and she started wearing the depends without any sudden change and it went well.

Timmyd

This was my experience. DW was having urinary incontinence issues once every few weeks. Then, all of a sudden, it switched and it became far more regular. When I realized what was going on, I just gave her the depends when getting her out of wet clothes. Fortunately she hated being in wet clothes. She was not really resistant to wearing them, it was more a sense of sadness. My guess is that she was aware of what was happening and why she needed to wear them. I have adjust our routine at home and now accidents are far less frequent (one every week or two). She sometimes puts them on without a fuss but other times she refuses. Like everything else, I try to learn what are the good conditions for success and when to just back off and let her have her way.

I have a female companion care that comes in three or four days a week. I think she has had more success with compliance with the regular changing of DW's depends. She can be more patient than I am and I think being the same gender helps.

JDancer

I've had good luck with the Assurance brand of pull ups from Walmart. They aren't too bulky, but they hold a lot of liquid. I have to help him dress, and said I got some "special underwear" for him the first few times. Now it's just part of the routine. My spouse is very cooperative, in general, so your experience may vary

GothicGremlin

When my sister's incontinence first started, we both referred to Depends as the "other underwear." I'd casually ask her if she wanted to try the "other underwear", and she was okay to try it out. I made it all sound like a normal thing. In the beginning she didn't need something that would hold a lot of liquid, so I was able to ease her into them with a brand that looks kind of like regular underwear. As time went on, I did what @jgreen and @BPS did - I slowly replaced her underwear with Depends - and we never talked about it. It worked pretty well.