My Beautiful Husband Passed

Flowers456

I began participating in this forum in May of 2025 after my DH received his Early Onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I learned everything from this online forum and the in-person Alzheimer’s Association monthly support group.

In October of 2025, my DH had a severe Ulcerative Colitis (UC) flare. In hindsight, I didn’t realize that we couldn’t manage his own healthcare. He had probably been experiencing inflammation in his colon for months prior. But in October when he experienced so much blood loss, that was the beginning of his rapid Alzheimer’s progression.

He was in the hospital five different times in five months. He continued to decline and experience additional ailments. With a UC flare, patients must eat. My DH would not eat, and his body continued to waste away even with a feeding tube. My DH who used to compete in Ironman distance triathlons could only use his arms just a little bit in the end.

Throughout all his hospital stays and ailments, the hospitals never had a Neurologist visit him. Of all the different types of medical professionals who saw my husband, it was the Speech Pathologists who knew the most about Alzheimer’s.

The other good source of information I received was from my in-person Alzheimer’s Association support group. Once when I explained that my DH had lost over 50 pounds within just three months, they all gasped and supported me. They were the only ones who knew my DH was in an Alzheimer’s decline.

My DH experienced confusion in the hospitals until the last two weeks. He was forgetful but lucid. We talked a lot about our marriage, his funeral wishes, our children’s futures. He was in so much pain the day before he passed in early March (less than a year after his diagnosis).

My DH was 56.

I experienced caregiving for about four years. It was hard to deal with the loss of his short-term memory and reasoning skills. And the last few months, I had to care for him being bedbound and unable to take care of his own basic needs. It was darn hard. This disease and the care of the people it afflicts needs more attention. The healthcare system is setup for the spouses to provide all the caregiving alone.

For my DH’s memorial, I focused on how he was years before Alzheimer’s started changing his personality. To the people in the audience, his death was sudden and shocking (except for my daughter who also experienced daily living with us). People who visited my DH in the hospital reminisced about their past together and told me he was “still sharp.” But as his spouse, I experienced so many goodbyes within the last few years. Nobody understands a spouse’s experience of a person with Alzheimer’s.

I thank you all for your support and wisdom. I wish you all had more care for your loved ones and for yourselves.

Call me Gram

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. My heart goes out to you. I pray that you can find peace in your loss and joy in your memories.

David1941

Your sharing is brave & a gift to many of us - me certainly !!! - as we traverse this journey. I hope I show my DW the love & care you did. May you find the life now your DH wanted for you. Peace with you - and again, thank you!!!

ronda b

My heart and thanks goes out to you.

RetiredTeacher

Sending hugs and prayers for you as you deal with all the emotions stage 8 brings. I hope you remember the good times you shared before ALZ took him from you and hope you find the strength to start to really live again. 🫂

easy23

So sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace after a brave battle.

MaryMN

Sending hugs. You took amazing care of your husband.

Jgirl57

Peace to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your journey.

White Crane

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear husband.

Chance Rider

I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine trying to manage severe UC on top of the Alzheimer’s. Your husband is at rest and no longer in pain or suffering from ALZ. Sending hugs as you traverse this next chapter.

jgreen

Dear @Flowers456

Thank you for sharing with us. May perpetual light shine on your DH and that he rest in peace. And may you find that inner strength to begin the next phase of your journey. As others have said, I hope you too find peace and a path forward. Do check in from time to time and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs 💝

Quilting brings calm

I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your daughter must be exhausted. Please rest.

JeriLynn66

I’m very sorry for the loss of your dear husband. May you find peace and comfort in the coming days.

countrywife

My most sincere condolences. Your story brought tears to my eyes. Such a young life gone all too soon. Hugs to you in your healing journey and may he rest in peace.

SDianeL

so sorry for your loss. Praying for your comfort. May he rest in peace. 🙏💜

Lethe

Thank you for sharing your difficult journey and I’m sorry for the loss of your husband. I agree that nobody understands the experience of caregiving spouses except those of us who have also traveled this journey. I wish you peace and comfort in the coming days.

Marla13

I am so sorry for your loss. May you find peace. We are so lucky to have the support of this forum.

tonyac2

So sorry for your loss. Prayers for peace and comfort.

Goodlife2025

Thank you for sharing your heart wrenching journey with early onset Alz. There is so little info in general and even less about the early onset journey. May you and your family know His Peace as your DH's pain has ended and you enter this next stage…..

annie51

So sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your experience. You’ve had a very tough time and the grief may be mixed with the relief that his suffering is over. That’s how I felt and I know in my heart he is in a much better place now. Take your time and grieve in whatever way you need to. You are so right when you said:

“But as his spouse, I experienced so many goodbyes within the last few years. Nobody understands a spouse’s experience of a person with Alzheimer’s.”

We understand. Let us know how you’re doing as you move forward in Stage 8. Sending hugs!

Karen711

Dear Flowers- Thank you for sharing some of your very difficult journey. We can all learn from your experience. Even though each of our paths is unique, you have a lot of company here in our shared understanding of this gradual, agonizing, and devastating loss. I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear husband and for what you and your daughter have been through. I hope you find some peace in knowing at least that he is no longer suffering.
💜

Karen

Russinator

I’m very sorry for the loss of your DH. May you find peace and comfort in the coming days.