My Beautiful Husband Passed

I began participating in this forum in May of 2025 after my DH received his Early Onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I learned everything from this online forum and the in-person Alzheimer’s Association monthly support group.

In October of 2025, my DH had a severe Ulcerative Colitis (UC) flare. In hindsight, I didn’t realize that we couldn’t manage his own healthcare. He had probably been experiencing inflammation in his colon for months prior. But in October when he experienced so much blood loss, that was the beginning of his rapid Alzheimer’s progression.

He was in the hospital five different times in five months. He continued to decline and experience additional ailments. With a UC flare, patients must eat. My DH would not eat, and his body continued to waste away even with a feeding tube. My DH who used to compete in Ironman distance triathlons could only use his arms just a little bit in the end.

Throughout all his hospital stays and ailments, the hospitals never had a Neurologist visit him. Of all the different types of medical professionals who saw my husband, it was the Speech Pathologists who knew the most about Alzheimer’s.

The other good source of information I received was from my in-person Alzheimer’s Association support group. Once when I explained that my DH had lost over 50 pounds within just three months, they all gasped and supported me. They were the only ones who knew my DH was in an Alzheimer’s decline.

My DH experienced confusion in the hospitals until the last two weeks. He was forgetful but lucid. We talked a lot about our marriage, his funeral wishes, our children’s futures. He was in so much pain the day before he passed in early March (less than a year after his diagnosis).

My DH was 56.

I experienced caregiving for about four years. It was hard to deal with the loss of his short-term memory and reasoning skills. And the last few months, I had to care for him being bedbound and unable to take care of his own basic needs. It was darn hard. This disease and the care of the people it afflicts needs more attention. The healthcare system is setup for the spouses to provide all the caregiving alone.

For my DH’s memorial, I focused on how he was years before Alzheimer’s started changing his personality. To the people in the audience, his death was sudden and shocking (except for my daughter who also experienced daily living with us). People who visited my DH in the hospital reminisced about their past together and told me he was “still sharp.” But as his spouse, I experienced so many goodbyes within the last few years. Nobody understands a spouse’s experience of a person with Alzheimer’s.

I thank you all for your support and wisdom. I wish you all had more care for your loved ones and for yourselves.