Need Advice About My Sister, Please!

CMarlene

After many years of caregiving for my very ill and late husband and my dear aunt with ALZ in a facility, at age 74 I remarried a wonderful man two years ago. We are very happy together and had an ideal life. Until I had to take in my 72-year-old sister with dementia.

We had to move her from an RV in Alabama where she was asked to leave into our spare bedroom in Florida. My sister and I have never been close as she has always been a loner personality, has a past history of addiction and smokes heavily. On the positive side, she was an RN in a nursing home for years. Since she moved in, we have her being evaluated by a Memory Disorder Clinic which is taking three painful months. We have gotten her a new doctor, new glasses and she eats healthy meals and sweet snacks every day. She is 97 pounds, very skinny. She wants her keys daily so she can go to an imaginary apartment she has.

My husband and I are cordial to her but have to correct her a lot for various reasons because she can't remember recent learning. Two nights ago, she went into the kitchen to feed her dogs for the second time as she has a thing about her dogs being hungry EVERY night. I saw her getting the expensive chicken and rice mixture out again and I angrily took it away from her. All of a sudden, she started slapping me in the face over and over. I restrained her for a minute then she grabbed my shirt and bra and pulled the bra off under my shirt. My husband intervened and wrestled her to the ground and shouted angrily at her. I was so shocked and exhausted that I just went to bed. The next day I called the Memory Facility, and they told me to call the police. The police were very responsive but really could not help me.

I have looked into Medicaid and the very limited options for her in a facility here. My husband is a 100% disabled Vietnam Vet with a heart condition, and I have health issues also. I am now considering getting her a Legal Guardian in Alabama through the courts where she lived. I no longer care about her placement or if I can see her again. I wonder about how so many of you managed to get your person into a facility? I am hoping you can help me with your advice. What do you think about Guardianship? I am done with her. I had to put her into drug rehab and take her small child when she was neglecting him years ago. My husband and I have a life, too!

harshedbuzz

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

The professional guardianship business in Florida is fairly robust; they may be able to qualify her and find a placement more quickly than you can. Another option would be to have her transported to the hospital in your area that has a geriatric psych unit. Once admitted, you could inform the social worker that you will not be taking her into your home and to make other discharge arrangements for her.

HB