caregiver all my life.

Dusty217

I read the posts on here and so far, they make me fear the future. I know what's ahead but hearing everyone's reality and stories makes it so more real. I started life as a caregiver to 4 of my brothers. They had muscular dystrophy and I at age 12 started taking care of them. I was the oldest of 7 so my mom needed my help. By the time the last brother passed away I was 20 and getting married. I had also completed my studies and became an RN. I had 2 children and worked full time but provided most of the care and parenting to them. My work life was for individuals with Developmental Disabilities, and I spent 40 years taking care of patients. I also took in an adult with Down syndrome who lived with us for 13 years. I took care of my mother and Grandmother who both died of dementia. They both lived with me near the end of their lives. Fast forward I divorced and remarried a man who loved to take care of me. I think it is the first time I let someone totally care for me. We have been together 15 years. Now he is diagnosed with MCI due to AD and I am taking over more and more of the household responsibilities. It is only a matter of time, and I will be a fulltime caretaker again. Can I do it? Yes. Do I want to? That's a hard answer. I will because I love him and he would if he could do the same for me. It just makes me so sad to be here. I have completed DPOA, MPOA, wills and Medicaid trust and living will. So have that out of the way.

Ed's mom

You sound very tired. I'm sorry you've been stuck in this role because it really sucks. Finally you find the one person and slam….caregiver again. Every day brings me something new to hate, you're even deprived of the surprise and the "you've got to be kidding" parts. Please share with new people like me because I'm already scared and ready to run. How do you do this every day and why would you chose it as an occupation, more caregiving. It's not that I am selfish but I don't think I have the strength to keep giving., and every day demands a bit more. Bless you.

Dusty217

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/272950#Comment_272950

Thank you. Yes I'm tired and I hare this too.

rplourde50

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76100/caregiver-all-my-life

hugs

Quilting brings calm

I’m sorry that you are having to be a caregiver again. Please remember that each dementia patient is different. They each progress through that stages at their own pace and they don’t always have every symptom of every stage as they progress. MCI can take up to 7 years to progress to the moderate stage.

Do start planning for a facility for if/when the times comes that you can’t be the 24/7 caregiver.

Dusty217

Thank you. I often internalized every thing I read. I needed the reminder that the progress is different for all.