Early stages

supdragon

My DH has been diagnosed but will not talk about it with me. When things happen like him buying stuff on Amazon we already own, if I bring it up, he gets angry at me. If it weren't so important I'd just let him be but I'm terrified of his poor decision making affecting our future.

H1235

Welcome. We want our loved ones to be happy, but sometimes that’s just not possible. Many with dementia have anosognosia. This is an inability to recognize their symptoms or limitations. It’s awful! Any discussion of these symptoms just makes them annoyed or angry. It’s generally best to just not bring up dementia or its symptoms. But then what? You need to find some work arounds. Could you change the password on your Amazon account and just tell him you will try to figure out what the problem is and place the order (if it’s something necessary). You may want to see if yo can put a limit on his card. You may also want to put a hold on his credit (im not sure how that works if you’re married, I’d ask a lawyer). If you haven’t seen a lawyer yet you should as soon as possible. You will want a DPOA, living will, and medical poa. I knew someone with dementia that tried to buy a brand new truck, when they probably shouldn’t have even been driving. Poor judgment is a common symptom of dementia and it can cost you dearly. You are going to have to take charge and start making all important financial decisions. I would talk with a financial advisor if you have investments he can access to see if that can be changed. If a fib keeps your finances safe that’s what you should do. Sometimes these work arounds just dont work the way you might have hoped. If he becomes increasingly grumpy and angry you may want to talk to his doctor about medication.

https://iona.org/therapeutic-fibs-ok/

https://www.creditkarma.com/credit/i/how-to-freeze-credit

Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf

Jgirl57

Welcome, the Amazon issue in the early stages were very frustrating for us. He ordered double almost every order . Initially I was just paralyzed to intervene but I eventually sent a letter and a copy of the DPOA to the accounts dept to cancel the account. I then hid the iPad. , eventually “ lost” his phone and took the computer in for “ repair”. This was over a couple of years and it eventually got to where he didn’t recall anything to do with accounts. Honestly I am still traumatized from the first few years on this journey. Being on this forum helped me manage better day to day . Keep reading and posting. He will probably never acknowledge or want to talk about the diagnosis with you. It’s very hard not functioning as a couple any longer .

supdragon

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275692#Comment_275692

Thank you for that insight.

supdragon

Thank you. I'm so glad I found this forum.

Michele P

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76373/early-stages

You have been given excellent advice. Once you see that your loved once cannot be trusted with credit cards, a computer, or finances, you need to take over. You have a child in an adult’s body who can no longer make good decisions. Do whatever you have to do to keep both of you safe. People with dementia are targets for scams.

tboard

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76373/early-stages

Being angry seems to be part of the disease. I had similar issues with my DH. I managed to get his debit card away from him and monitor his internet use. Also had a similar issues with my mother who ordered three of the same printer from Amazon. I learned to manage her account and cancel orders that didn't make sense. None of this is easy in the modern digital age. Don't wait, do what you need to do to protect yourself and your spouse. You might need to be sneaky and you may need to lie.