Early stages

Welcome. We want our loved ones to be happy, but sometimes that’s just not possible. Many with dementia have anosognosia. This is an inability to recognize their symptoms or limitations. It’s awful! Any discussion of these symptoms just makes them annoyed or angry. It’s generally best to just not bring up dementia or its symptoms. But then what? You need to find some work arounds. Could you change the password on your Amazon account and just tell him you will try to figure out what the problem is and place the order (if it’s something necessary). You may want to see if yo can put a limit on his card. You may also want to put a hold on his credit (im not sure how that works if you’re married, I’d ask a lawyer). If you haven’t seen a lawyer yet you should as soon as possible. You will want a DPOA, living will, and medical poa. I knew someone with dementia that tried to buy a brand new truck, when they probably shouldn’t have even been driving. Poor judgment is a common symptom of dementia and it can cost you dearly. You are going to have to take charge and start making all important financial decisions. I would talk with a financial advisor if you have investments he can access to see if that can be changed. If a fib keeps your finances safe that’s what you should do. Sometimes these work arounds just dont work the way you might have hoped. If he becomes increasingly grumpy and angry you may want to talk to his doctor about medication.

https://iona.org/therapeutic-fibs-ok/

https://www.creditkarma.com/credit/i/how-to-freeze-credit

You have been given excellent advice. Once you see that your loved once cannot be trusted with credit cards, a computer, or finances, you need to take over. You have a child in an adult’s body who can no longer make good decisions. Do whatever you have to do to keep both of you safe. People with dementia are targets for scams.

Hello my DH has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I’ve noticed subtle changes three years ago that have increasingly getting more noticeable. Lately I’ve feel like I’m in the Twilight zone because almost every night my DH is overly sensitive, brings up past arguments, and despite my attempts to get him to understand things from my perspective. I question is he’s being an a— or is this Alzheimer’s. This is something we’ve dealt with over the years only now it’s more frequent. Tonight, again he became irritated, easily offended, and reactionary. Instead of responding the way I always had I sat quietly made eye contact and just listened. I rubbed his shoulder and kissed him on the head. The anger and frustration went away. I’m new to this did I do the right thing by recognizing maybe he doesn’t know or have control of his emotions or was I played. What am I in for? I’m feeling the weight of this and to be honest I’m kind of freaking out.

Thanks, just getting this out there makes me feel less alone in this situation.

Dear @Mappelquist

Welcome. You will probably receive more responses if you post as a ‘new discussion’. On my tablet this is an orange button, top right of the home page for AlzConnected

First - you did the right thing just listening to your DH. Let him know you hear him, even if he says unkind things. You can say “I did not know that” or “I can see why you are upset” or “That must have been hard”. Your DH is becoming more attuned to your emotions, tone of voice, and the like rather than the words you are using.

Agnosognosia is a neurological condition where your DH is unaware of his illness or abilities. The mantra many of us use is ‘You cannot reason with someone whose reasoner is broken’. So explanations or any type of reasoning is not going to work, and probably lead to an argument.

There are some good health professionals online that have websites and YouTube channels with good information for caregivers: Tam Cummings, Teepa Snow, Natalie Edmonds and Camille Sinclaire. The book ‘’The 36-Hour Day’ is also a good resource that helped me early on.

Stay in touch with us and let us kniow how you are doing.