Constant anger

If he is not on medication to moderate this, I would consider it + discuss with his Dr

My DH is angry with me any time I'm not smiling and being the "stepford wife". Anyone who knows me, knows how difficult it is for me to smile, agree and keep my mouth shut!! It's even more difficult now that his language skills have declined so much and I seldom can understand what he's talking about. But to keep the peace, I smile, agree and keep my mouth shut!!! Believe me, its difficult

Men often express their depression through anger. So antidroression medication may be helpful.

Remember - always have your phone on you and have a plan for which locked room in the house that you will go to if he becomes aggressive.

Don’t blame yourself. He is in his own world and will be angry no matter what you do or say. It is a symptom of the disease. My DH was the same way. I was always trying to say or do the right thing to keep him calm and happy. Once I mentioned that his socks didn’t match. OMG! He flew off the handle and said something about me always criticizing him. And I certainly couldn’t reason with him because his reasons for being angry never made sense in the first place. But, like you, would always find myself on the receiving end of his outbursts.

Take the advice of Quilting Brings Calm and have a safe room ready in case his anger escalates to physical aggression. I hope it never gets that bad for you but it happened to me. My DH’s angry hurtful words turned into physical aggression. It started with just yelling at me all the time, then there were a few shoves. Then chasing and grabbing me, pushing me down. I locked myself in the bathroom at 6:30 this morning after a brief struggle with him because he didn’t think I should have poured myself a cup of coffee. He usually tires himself out after ranting for a couple hours and falls asleep. It’s now 11:30, yes, 5 hours later, and I am still waiting for him to fall asleep. Luckily I have my phone with me so I can read the Alz forum to pass the time

Once he moved into memory care, he has not displayed any anger or aggression, although he still gets anxious when they take away his dirty clothes. Staff just keeps reassuring him that his clothes will be returned once they've been cleaned. He does resist changing incontinence briefs or clothes but will follow staff's instructions. Go figure, right? I can only conclude that I am the trigger.

The facility has experienced aggressive and angry residents. If redirection and distraction don't work, and/or medication fails, they will send the resident to the ER. However, I'm told this only happens as the last resort.

@LanaJoy and others, please keep your phone, a charger, and keys + wallet on you at all times. You need to be able to leave at a moment's notice for your safety.

It is tempting to put your LOs safety first in this situation but PLEASE think of yourselves. This is not selfish, It is wise and important. You have the healthy brain, and dementia should not be allowed to run the show for both of you. It is dangerous. Extremely.

Please disappear all weapons and anything that can be weaponized. Guns and knives (including little kitchen knives), any heavy objects, scissors, hammers, and more. This is a 3 alarm fire level urgency. Please. Thank you! Sending light and love.

The anger is just unbearable. I don't know how to do this any more. His anger is now making me angry, depressed and not doing this things we enjoy. I'm so sad. If anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this anger and my mental state,, please let me know.

JC5. It's not you it's the disease. If you haven't already, please read the book "The 36 Hour Day" it helped me understand and develop skills to redirect my DH when he was angry. Someone on this forum posted something that really helped me. It said "You can't reason with someone whose 'reasoner' is broken"… That stopped me in my tracks. No amount of reasoning or arguing will change his perception. His brain is broken. He's angry because he knows he's losing control and doesn't know what to do. Try not to take it personally - and I know that's very difficult to practice minute-by-minute. My husband is now Late Stage 6 in a memory care facility. I would still have him at home if I could physically care for him, except for my cancer diagnosis late last year. I also resented how he acted in the early stages, but I now wish I had him with me to argue with me rather than seeing him incontinent, agitated, aggressive, medicated and heading into Stage 7. Being a caregiver is the hardest thing anyone would ever have to do. He's lucky to have you. So sorry you are going through this. We truly understand. We've been exactly where you are now.

Unfortunately i don't think there is an answer. We've just entered a new phase of it- my partner is not safe to be unsupervised in her MC room any more because of the fall risk. She is both a claustrophobe and an introvert, and has a bad back, all three of which make sitting with a group in activities very problematic. Looks like the only workable alternative is going to be one on one companion and possibly a room camera (which they are reluctant to do). she is furious, but there's no other safe alternative. The good news is that she can afford it because it's gonna cost an arm and a leg. They are also initiating hospice.

It helps me to deal with the anger by remembering the Dylan Thomas poem: this IS the raging against the dying of the light, not going gentle into that good night.