Need help getting DH to let me do his meds

SDianeL, This is tough, I understand so well. Is there one you can crush and give in his juice, or hide in his food to take the edge off first every day? You did not say if there are any meds like that in the pills he is taking, but sounds like the neuropsych needs to help here. Seroquel (quetiapine) was the game changer for us when problem behaviors, delusions, hallucinations, MAJOR attitude issues and even anger started. For at least a year, otc Melatonin liquid was our best friend. His dr agreed that could be a go-to help to take the edge off, when needed. Started with 3mg which did absolutely nothing. Then up to 10mg eventually, which mellowed him out - did not put him to sleep or sedate him at all. But he was more cooperative after a little Melatonin, so I could work around more things at the time that were dangerous to him or me.

Sorry that you are having this struggle and you are right - this is not something that he can safely do, as you have observed. I remember my DH's disease taking us through that power struggle, it was stressful. He would disappear necessary meds (taken daily before dementia) and forget where he put them. I spent thousands of dollars we did not have, replacing expensive inhalers just to keep him alive. And then, even after Seroquel magic was prescribed, getting them in him was a challenge when he'd flat refuse sometimes. Other times I'd realize he tricked me and pocketed the med in his jaw but did not swallow it, or I'd find a random pill in his pocket or under the bed way later. Then the lightbulb would go on ("ok, so THAT explains his wacky behavior yesterday").

Like most things on this Alz rollercoaster, I had to trick him so I could do what had to be done...taking control of things he just could not manage safely anymore. As much as possible I did it without him knowing the change was forever. I know talking with him would not have helped. Maybe the Dr. could suggest he let you do it? But sounds like you need some workarounds at least, plus maybe an anxiety or behavior-specific med. You are right, he could poison himself, or miss important meds and you have to find ways to "help" by removing this responsibility without confronting it head on, which doesn't work with dementia as you know.

Here is an article that may help. Good luck! You can do it. Tips for Getting Those with Alzheimer’s Disease to Take Medication - Alzheimer's, Education, Caregivers (alzu.org)

I also think the pill packs are the way to go. Not all pharmacies will do them. You might have to transfer his meds to one that will.

Anything else you do will be considered ‘helping’ by him. He thinks you ‘helping’ means you don’t consider him capable of doing it on his own. He’s not, and you are going to have to take the responsibility from him somehow- but it’s not going to be pleasant and it will be a repetitive argument.

At some point he may resist taking the medication if it’s not in the bottles because he will think it’s poison. My mom did when she had a UTI.

Our pcp was not too concerned about the supplements as long as nothing interferes with the prescriptions she is taking. He says it's just a waste of $ and they will poop them out anyway. Let the supps go and just "forget" one or two.

That’s great… you’ve been so patient and understanding. He’s very fortunate to have you. Thanks for your update.

One thing I thought of about the mix up of am and pm pills was having two different containers. We actually had about 10 containers, five weekly rectangles for am and five weekly round ones for pm. I’d fill them up once a month and was easy to keep track of which pills when. Helped when caregivers were in also. My LO had help with her meds from late stage 4 to 5 and so on…forever.