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Christmas sadness

annie51
annie51 Member Posts: 127
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

I just need to talk today. Put up my Christmas tree and little train, then got the rest of the Christmas decorations out. My DH was in one of those moods where everything I did was wrong and I lost it (not with anger but with tears). I pulled myself together and he got better and was helping me get the decorations up. Then I began to put the ornaments on the tree. I always loved doing this - we've collected them over the last 35 years from all the different places we traveled to and it helps me re-live the memories. But then I began crying again as I realized he doesn't remember any of those trips anymore. Maybe I should have left the ornaments off. Some days I just can't hold it together and it's hard to hide my tears from him sometimes. I'm sure tomorrow will be better...

Comments

  • Joydean
    Joydean Member Posts: 1,497
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    I can relate to what you are saying. Two years ago I got our tree out and started decorating it. Putting all the special ornaments on the tree. I then looked and noticed the box was empty and I sat down in the floor just looking at the empty box. I started crying because life felt that way to me. Dh had no idea I was even crying. I took all the ornaments off the tree and put them back in the box where they belonged. Took the tree down and back in its container. My dh never said anything. When our kids came on Christmas They did ask all I could say was the box was empty!

    last year my daughter bought a new tree and brought it out here and decorated it with all new ornaments!

  • Joydean
    Joydean Member Posts: 1,497
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  • Denise1847
    Denise1847 Member Posts: 835
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67149/christmas-sadness

    Hi Annie51, I can relate to your crying. I was really losing it about 8 months ago (crying all the time). I first went to counseling and it worked for awhile. However, I started again and my PCP put me on an antidepressant (bupropion). That really made the difference. What helps me is not looking back because it only makes me feel badly. I stay in the present, today and make the most of it. Please take care of yourself.

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,314
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    The holidays are just too hard. There's so many happy memories of times gone by when the everything was good and everyone was well. Now it's so different. Many of us are alone and many are dealing with caregiving. Those happy times will never be again so there are tears instead.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 127
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/189183#Comment_189183

    Very good advice about not looking back. I hope that is something I can practice and get better at!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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