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Im struggling...

jlaw1975
jlaw1975 Member Posts: 2 Member
in Caring for a Parent
I feel like I'm drowning... I am my dad's caretaker. He has vd. I am grieving my life I left in Texas that I left in Feb. 2022 to take care of my dad in CA. I am having trouble just functioning day to day.
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  • Anonymousjpl123
    Anonymousjpl123 Member Posts: 907
    250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments Third Anniversary
    Member

    Definitely grieving the life you left behind is normal! You are not alone: we who get stuck in this role unexpectedly have this whole other life than what we thought we would. At least I do. I am working on rearranging my expectations and my care so I can find a “new normal.”

    For me, I’ve started lap swimming at a local Y. Do you have anything like that you can do? Just one thing a day. Something to make you feel like you.

    Caretaking is hard and all consuming, whether you are caring for someone at home or a facility.

  • 2parents/brain change
    2parents/brain change Member Posts: 51
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions 5 Likes First Anniversary
    Member

    Moving to care for a parent is very hard. My husband and I are living in Pittsburgh, PA, so that my spouse can bring his father's business to a dignified closure. My father in law is in memory care. We are not his main care givers, we have siblings doing that.

    Never the less, we put our lives on hold to live in the house my inlaws owned while my husband works every day.

    I have found if I don't care for myself resentment and all kinds of negative attitudes will move in! So I go out of my comfort zone and find places of interest to me, art museums, the Y, parks, libraries.

    I hope you do care for yourself. It's a major sacrifice and it feels very lonely at times.

    Hang in there!

    J

  • JDancer
    JDancer Member Posts: 559
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    I'm sorry you have to go through this.

    I, too, grieve the loses brought by my DH's dementia. The book, "Ambiguous Loss,' helped me understand it.

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
    1,500 Care Reactions 1,500 Likes 5000 Comments 1,000 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Jlaw, i wonder if speaking with a care consultant at the Alzheimer's association hotline would help you brainstorm about how to cope. It's free and 24/7-1-800-272-3900 i think (listed on this website).

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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