Hi Y’all I am new as of today

Hi Diane and welcome. It sounds like you are pretty early in this journey. It also sounds like you're doing the right things - staying active and taking care of yourself while you're caring for your husband. I think that's awesome. Definitely take time to get your legal ducks in a row (see a certified elder law attorney) while your husband can offer input and sign documents - you'll need one of your adult children to be your designated POA as it's not something your husband will be able to do. Learn what you can about dementia so you can plan. And, just as importantly, enjoy time with your husband. Others on this forum have recommended taking that trip you always wanted to go on.

We're all here to share and connect...it's a great group of folks.

Best,

Jeanne

Something I saw about driving that makes sense to me. You do not tell somebody they can not drive, because they know they know how to drive. They need to be told they should not drive because they may kill somebody, and they are having trouble making decision fast enough to drive and so on.

Welcome Diane. It does sound like you are still in early days. if you read a lot of threads you can learn a lot from this wise group about things that might come up later,and that will help you be prepared. The driving is a good example. If he's willing, formal driving assessments can be done that will objectively determine whether it's still safe or not-but eventually, certainly, it will not be.

jeannes advice is spot on. If you haven't addressed legal issues, do that while he still can. You need to have durable power of attorney for finances and healthcare, and your own documents need to specify someone besides him as your POA and executor. Now is also the time to think about how you might finance institutional care such as memory care if/when he might need it. A certified elder law attorney can address all of this.

His wanting to be with you all of the time is called shadowing. You provide the scaffolding that helps him continue to function, and he is very dependent upon it. It can become hard to deal with as the disease progresses; it's good that you have outlets that (for now) can help give you breaks. The isolating part of this disease comes when you may have to give some of that up in the future, but thinking about it ahead of time can help figure out the way forward. Your using notes for him to read is another good example: that may work for a while, but the day will inevitably come when notes won't work any more. I say that not to be critical or a doomsayer, but from experience.

Best to you, you have come to a good group. Sorry you have need of it.

Everyone is new at some time or another and with Alzheimer's it's almost a new day every day. Everyone is here to help....

http://simplebender.com/2023/09/27/joy-in-alzheimers/

Diane, read many of the other threads about driving, and talk to his doctors. You don't want to be caught wrong-footed on this issue particularly. It's probably the toughest independence issue for most families.

Being "legal and covered" will mean little if some innocent is killed or maimed in an accident which could have been prevented. Having a license does not make any of us a competent driver...particularly someone who is mentally challenged. It only means that the day we got the license we passed the tests, and perhaps have passed the once in a while eye test at DMV.

In my opinion, becoming mentally impaired for any reason, should cause mandatory reporting to DMV so that periodic re-testing is done to determine abilities to continue to have the privilege of driving.