Eating.. or not

@Malka

My DH is 92 and generally was a very good eater. I have noticed in retrospect that his food choices became more and more narrow as time went on over the past few years. He is in ALZ Stage 6 now and eats mostly carbohydrates, especially sweets. The craving for sweets is part of the disease. He has lost most of his sense of smell and with it, taste. In his case, inactivity has also reduced his appetite. He went from being very active to wheelchair bound in about three years. Now that he is on pureed foods due to swallowing problems (could be from his stroke or ALZ), he eats very little. He has begun losing weight, having lost 9 lbs. in the past month. The aides at his AL residence do not push him to eat any more than he wants to. The aides and I do try to make sure he stays reasonably hydrated, especially since he has a catheter and is prone to UTIs. He loves decaf coffee and fruit juice.

Have you called for a hospice evaluation? If not, your dads decreased appetite may be something important to consider on this journey. Regardless of the dementia stage your dad is in, he is dying. Making a dying patient eat when they’re not interested can be uncomfortable for the patient. If he’s transitioning to an end of life stage, his organs may be shutting down a bit, and forcing food into a system that doesn’t work normally is often painful. The aid needs to stop forcing. Just offering yummy options throughout the day should be sufficient. If he eats here and there, great. If not, let him be comfortable at least. As caregivers, comfort for our loved one is a top priority. Just my opinions.

Im so very sorry.

I agree with Marta. The aide should be following your wishes. Your father is at the end of his life. In your place, I would offer food + if he declines, that would be the end of it. ‘Nutrition’ at this point is not something I would worry about.

Well, your dad needs nutrition. Main thing is, is he losing weight? If so, he needs calories. If he gets sick, he'll need the energy to fight off sickness. Hard to force it though, unless she feeds him? The body can affect the heart muscle if not enough body muscle. But it is part of the process for sure. Wish you the best.