Sleep Pattern

Hi Clark. It's pretty normal for pwd to sleep for long periods of time. Unless there is a reason to wake her, I'd just let her sleep. I know that's a lot of sleep, but there are others who sleep more than that.

I agree with Ed and Belle, I'd let her sleep. My wife goes to bed between 4:30 and 6:00pm and will get up when I do, usually around 5:00am. No matter how quietly I try to be, I still wake her. After reading what others go through with their love one's not sleeping, I feel very lucky (for now)?

It is so heartbreaking! I find myself thinking that in the same way we all say that no one knows what it’s like until you’ve been through this type of caregiving, is there a way we can truly understand what it is like knowing your mind and life are going….

Yea, my wife will often tell me she loves me and then starts crying.

Every time I've read a post like this through the years, I have thought "I wish!" My DH has been h3ck on wheels since this horrid disease showed up, with me literally not having a moment to myself. His energy level, rummaging, constant exit seeking, and more made it more than the 36 hour day we are told to expect. So I often thought "what I wouldn't give for 10-12 hours of him sleeping and me getting some peace and quiet while he is safe".

But I also know it is heart breaking and distressing to have clear signs of our LOs decline, like sleeping most of the day in earlier stages must feel to you all. The biggest (only?) blessing of dementia in our situation is DH's anosognosia. He is totally unaware of his impairment so while that made it much harder for me to keep him out of trouble and the exhaustion factor has brought me nearly to my knees daily for years -- at least he was not sad or anxious about it as some of your LOs are. Bless them. I'm sorry for them and us all.

DH has slowed down significantly in the last 3-6 months as the end draws near and the worst issue with that is the risk of skin breakdown/bedsores which can happen quickly if they don't change position periodically now that he also is suddenly sleeping more. Wishing us all the best in dealing with the worst disease ever.

Welcome to the forum Sprotector. You may get more responses if you start a new discussion, by the way.

To answer your question though, I think all of us who lose our spouses to dementia end up feeling very alone, and it's probably more than the sleep pattern. My partner never really withdrew from me emotionally, but she certainly did from other people, shunning old friends and even some family members. Because she has anosognosia (she thinks she's fine and never did/still doesn't perceive her deficits), she did not understand how our relationship changed and how much I ended up having to be the caregiver and not an equal partner any more.

Is there a difference on weekends, on days when you're not getting up for work? That might give you some clues or ideas about ways you can still connect.