Driving

His car could "break down," and you could either take a while figuring out how to get it fixed, or get it taken "to the shop."

Katie Lu, Just going through this same situation. DH’s neurologist did tell him that if he passed he needed to listen to his family and only go two places. He passed the OT assessment, too. I have no idea how. His road awareness and backing up skills are gone. He can’t make a decision quick enough as he drives. He hasn’t been able to put fuel in a vehicle for two years. We’ve had several days when I’ve had to show him her report. I know it is very hard to give this up . One of the places he can go could have children present when school is out. He will not be able to go there much longer. I give him two days a week we can go anywhere. I’m his chauffeur, and I let him decide where to go, and try not to get in an argument about directions! SOMETIMES that helps.

We live out in a very rural area. I have a tracker in our pickup, most of his friends are “on board” with the restrictions. He will still try to sneak a drive in. All I know is that it is fine for a week, then it’s an issue again. Seems to be getting more unpredictable. I have friends who think it’s crazy that I let him drive four miles on a dirt road to visit his farmer friends. And then those that think it’s too restrictive. Sometimes I feel both crazy and too restrictive.

I know we would all be devastated if he had an accident and hurt someone else. I believe he won’t be doing any driving by fall. Today we went to town, 90 miles one way. For model airplane parts, and his favorite coffee. We had a nice lunch. Nine hours later we were home. I am mentally exhausted. I had to remind myself several times that these are the better days. I can say it, but don’t always feel it.

I understand. Thank you for your post.

Katielu- I feel your pain. The driving thing was one of the most stressful things I dealt with DH. It was an awful time. He also passed his OT assessment and like your DH, couldn't fill out the forms. I explained his situation and begged the young lady doing the assessment to be aware of his problems. Her response after the road test "Oh he made a couple of mistakes in lane changing but he knew he did them" She was more concerned about the psychological effect of losing his ability to be independent and he was so pleasant she said. Could not believe it! We live in a congested area with lots of traffic. I don't think she had a clue about Alzheimers. He drove a few more times after that until the battery on his truck ran down and he could never figure out how to recharge the battery with his battery charger. I told him I knew nothing about how to make batteries work, didn't know anyone who did and you couldn't buy batteries anymore . He soon gave up and forgot about driving.

1. Hide the keys (remove them from the house except for the 1 set that you keep on you at all times).
2. Disappear the extra car immediately. If you need to, park it in a friend's garage until it can be sold.
3. Hide, or temporarily disable the other car whenever it is at home and you are not. e.g. unplug or even remove the battery, etc.
4. If you have a garage, confiscate all the remotes so he can't open it. Also remove the key to any door.
5. Park around the corner just out of sight (out of mind)
6. Tell him it is not working, has to be repaired.
7. Pretend you have no idea about all the above. But you will help figure it out. That way, you are on his side.
8. I had to do all of the above and more. But it is worth it. I'm SO sorry the system failed you both.

@Katielu and @frankay I'm just wondering here. You both said they couldn't fill out the forms. Who filled them out?

Pat had a good suggestion about taking the batteries out of the key fob. If anyone doesn't know how to do that, check out YouTube. Just search for the model and year of the car, and add batteries key fob. It's not hard to change them. I hope everyone finds an answer for this common problem.

I think Gig is onto something there. Great idea! I would also question the neurologist saying he could only drive two places. You are either competent or you are not.

Katielu, that is fantastic news!

Katielu, I think you're on to something by getting a new car. I've known 3 other people now who solved their PWD driving problem by going down to one car and getting a new one. The new one was too complicated for their PWD to figure out how to even start it and all the gadgets terrified them. Expensive solution but maybe this will calm things down and be the answer. Good luck.

DH cannot figure out my pushbutton ignition, thankfully. He has definitely tried a couple of times in the last 2 years. Out of the blue. Don't let your guard down even after they stop driving for a long time. Just keep the keys out of sight, to be safe.

And I also learned the hard way, not to leave DH in the passenger side of a rental or someone else's car with it running while I step out to grab the mail or meds or anything. He had not tried to drive for at least a year, maybe more. But that day he did. Switched seats and moved the car 1 row over, in the parking lot. Dangerous! I never did that again.