horny

Sexual disinhibition is a thing with dementia. My DW went through it briefly around mid stage 5 and only lasted a few months. Now into stage 6 she is modest to the point she sometimes resists help from a strange man (me) with dressing and bathing.

@l7pla1w2 Don't feel embarrassed here. You can be sure many forum mates have experienced any and every issue that may arise on this dementia journey. I love your subject line. Yes, I recall those days maybe late in Stage 4?.

It is called "hypersexuality" and yes, it is fairly common. Sometimes really problematic requiring medication. Glen Campbell's wife discussed it in the documentary they did of his life when they took his Alzheimer's diagnosis public (and on a final musical tour). Take care of yourself and follow your own needs, since unfortunately our PWD LOs' judgement is hijacked due to their failing brains.

I consider myself lucky that DH did not spend a lot of time in this phase of disease progression. I was able to sidestep and redirect, distract and avoid it being too big of an issue for the weeks that he wisecracked, asked constantly, was a bit handsy, etc. trying to wake me up at bizarre times for adventure, for example. It just wasn't even remotely what we had previously shared, and that made me miss him and us even more -- all while not wanting to encourage him in his new ultra-amorous quest. Which he couldn't quite pull off anyway by then. What a terrible disease. Luckily he still exhibited much of his regular nature as a true gentleman and did not demand, insist, or make a huge issue of it. He gave up without seeming hurt or rejected and I am really glad of that.

Here is some more information, and you can search on the topic in this forum using related terms. Lots of posts will turn up. I hope this subsides soon, without too much stress to you both.

My DH is in that stage right now. He is pretty persistent, and then does appear to be hurt when I say no. He can't actually have sex, but wants to "please me". It is definitely annoying, but I know it will pass. I just remind him that I am old, too, and can't be intimate too often or it is painful, and that seems to be enough for a short while. Of course, he forgets what I said, but that is our life now. The best thing about this forum is that no topic is too sensitive. This disease manifests itself in many ways, and everyone here has seen things they never would have imagined would become something they had to deal with. The comfort of knowing that others share these problems is worth so much!

DH is still in this phase as I have talked about, and I feel so guilty; I think why not just go ahead, but the thought is too much. Not wanting sex and having it makes me feel dirty, we had a great sex life for 40 years but now the things he says and his grabbiness are such turn- offs. I tell him I'm tired from taking care of ev, laundry, cooking, cleaning, his incontinence, and he laughs and says "what's more important than this" and points to his crotch. I had a therapist who told me to just close my eyes and do it----i just can't.

@bonkey "I had a therapist who told me to just close my eyes and do it----i just can't." I should probably know more about women than I do, but was this therapist a man or a woman? I just can't imagine a woman saying that to you. Maybe I'm wrong. Does he/she actually think this would help you? If this wasn't bothering you, your therapist wouldn't even have known about it.

@bonkey I think you made a good decision.

Oh my! I’m a retired counselor and I’m disgusted with the “therapy” you received! Inexcusable!