lots of questions

KENLOIS1967 · April 1

My husband has not been officially diagnosed, but I have tons of questions. If you are a caregiver for someone with dementia, I am wondering if they do these types of things. My husband is constantly dressing/undressing/putting on layers of clothing. He picks up couch pillows and puts them in the bathroom. Gets his shoes on the wrong feet. Gets his clothes on backwards. Wakes up all hours of the night.

Would love to hear comments. It is all driving me nuts.

Jeanne C. · April 2

Yes, all of that. I know it can drive you crazy, but try to remember he's not doing it to bother you, it's the disease.

Do you have an appointment scheduled for him to start the diagnosis process? You'll see mixed thoughts on this forum about whether the diagnosis is important. My opinion is that testing can rule out potentially treatable conditions that mimic dementia and the type of dementia matters when medications are needed.

And do you have your legal documents set up? You're going to need to have power of attorney down the road.

Ask your questions. I think you'll find that the people here are kind and helpful. I'm sorry you and your husband are going through this.

dancsfo · April 2

These behaviors are not out of the ordinary. Even if there's no easy way to treat them, it's good to participate in this forum so you can share your experience and find out ways that can prevent danger, avoid having your husband do odd things in the first place, and perhaps give yourself a bit of respite or calm.

I'll give you a small example. Let's pretend your husband starts pouring salt from a shaker into coffee rather than reaching for the sugar pot or dispenser. Rather than getting upset, maybe it's time to get sugar in paper packets, and it may help since they look so different. That may work for a while, until you get another problem and find another suggestion, like pre sweetened coffee.

Why focus on such a small thing? Life has become to many of us a collection of small and big disasters, piled on top of each other. Avoiding a few of those becomes a blessing and a way to preserve your own mind.

It's OK to bring it up and ask, and someone may have a good suggestion.

forbarbara · April 2

forbarbara · April 2

I’m sorry you and your husband have started down this journey. As others have already said, use this forum to find support and solace, wisdom and even a little humor. Most of us use it to rant from time to time - it’s good to know someone is listening!