Are some PWD calm?

My aunt remained her good-natured self the entire time. My friend's mom was the feisty (mostly snark) with more people as her social filters faded but she was never difficult.

My dad had difficult behaviors; he'd always had a challenging personality so it wasn't unexpected. That said, in the last months of his life he became very warm and sweet.

HB

My mom was mostly calm but could become agitated when forced to shower. Was never violent .

My wife is a little over 3 years diagnosed with what the Dr said was Text Book Alzheimer's. She had signs of memory problems 8 years ago. She has never been mean, angry, yelling, crying or any of the terrible things others have gone through. I call myself lucky…i also know it's not over yet!

I think it varies by innate personality but also by what parts of the brain are affected. Unpredictable who will be agitated and who will not, and at what point in the illness.

I think it has to do with the type of dementia. Alzheimer's Disease tends to be more steady/gradual and the outbursts and agitation come later. Lewy Body Dementia and Frontotemporal Dementia are more erratic and violent outbursts can hit during any stage without warning. I don't know if this site keeps older posts but I've shared my horror-filled journey before. Nothing prepared me for this. Nothing.

M5M, your description applies to my DH including the wobbliness. When my DH was diagnosed in mid 2020, the neuropsych said that he wasn’t likely to have a personality change if he hadn’t had a change yet. He was I think in early Stage 4 at the time of diagnosis. He has recently been a little irritated with me because I managed to get PT to come to the house. He just wants to be left alone. Other than that, he’s amenable, always grateful and kind. I’m hoping this stays the same but I understand that there are no guarantees in this disease.

My DH is in late stage 6 FTD/Alz and has never been violent or aggressive. He lives at home. He has been very agitated in the middle stages until medications were prescribed, and in the past year has experienced sundowning on most days. He is up and down, unable to sit still. His neurologist prescribed medications that help calm him. I often make small changes dosages by the day. Aside from 5 or 6 hours of sundowning, he is calm. The key is to not under or over medicate.

For three years we cared for DFIL after DMIL passed. He was calm and happy. The PCP commented that if dementia had to be his fate he hoped he was like dad. This state was not dad's personality prior to dementia, and he had anosognosia. So agitated and angry is not a forgone conclusion.

I think there are more posts about these types of behaviors because they are so life impacting for LO and care partner and present significant safety issues. Care partners need to know immediate actions they can take as a stop gap while these situations are sorted out which takes time. Frank acknowledgement of this dementia reality is very much needed.

Good morning. I'm new to this whole thing. Just signed up this morning in fact so please forgive me if I inadvertently break any rules. My DW of 57 years is, I guess, in the middle stages of the disease (alz). I recognized early-on how very fortunate I am that she's not the mean version of the patient. She's very childlike and becoming more so each day. I do pretty much everything for her from the time I get her up in the morning to putting her to bed at night. All this made more difficult by a total knee replacement in March. (BTW if I had to do it over again I would not! The effects of the surgery had a huge negative impact on her Alzheimer's).

I'm getting more exhausted and looking for relief. I'd settle for a place where I can drop her off for a couple of hours when needed but so far haven't been able to find such a place that I can afford and is nearby. I'm planning on attending a local meeting next month and maybe get some help and advice from those more experienced than me.