Suggestions on how to introduce companion services, please?

My DH goes to Adult Day Care 2x a week it took him 1 month to get used to it , I will be adding another day in the fall a good option to try if available in your area.He has been going for 6 months now and I get sometime with friends, errands,etc. I don't know how long it will last but will keep doing it for now. A great decision for me.

We are both retired and my DH has been in sales and had 2 business so a very social guy with a lot of friends that has been the hardest part they get bored, I think day care keeps him busy he thinks he goes there to help them out it works for now.

Lite housework, cooking, errands, laundry…

All of the above gave me time to actually be with my husband…a bonus.

> @Anna2022 said:
> I think it's time for companion services for my DH. His friends have slipped away and I know he is lonely. I can fill some of his friendship needs, but he definitely needs more socialization. It's been suggested that I start introducing a new "friend" to him but how do I do that? It has also been suggested that I introduce the "friend" as someone who is here to help me…. Do you have any ideas or suggestions that may work or have already worked for you?
> If it helps, here's a snapshot of where he is on his journey: He is a retired lawyer and still is pretty savvy about things I try to introduce to help. His losses so far include things like no short term memory, faulty reasoning, inability to make decisions, emotional impulse control, and apathy. He has also lost the ability to initiate and participate in hobbies he used to enjoy (guitar playing, reading, books, motorcycles and driving fast cars (thank goodness!), etc. He walks the dog daily but that's all the exercise he does. He finds it difficult to follow a plot line on TV shows/movies but watches anyway, saying he just enjoys the different scenes as discrete episodes.
> Any suggestions welcome! And, thank you!!

> @Anna2022 said:
> I think it's time for companion services for my DH. His friends have slipped away and I know he is lonely. I can fill some of his friendship needs, but he definitely needs more socialization. It's been suggested that I start introducing a new "friend" to him but how do I do that? It has also been suggested that I introduce the "friend" as someone who is here to help me…. Do you have any ideas or suggestions that may work or have already worked for you?
> If it helps, here's a snapshot of where he is on his journey: He is a retired lawyer and still is pretty savvy about things I try to introduce to help. His losses so far include things like no short term memory, faulty reasoning, inability to make decisions, emotional impulse control, and apathy. He has also lost the ability to initiate and participate in hobbies he used to enjoy (guitar playing, reading, books, motorcycles and driving fast cars (thank goodness!), etc. He walks the dog daily but that's all the exercise he does. He finds it difficult to follow a plot line on TV shows/movies but watches anyway, saying he just enjoys the different scenes as discrete episodes.
> Any suggestions welcome! And, thank you!!

> @Anna2022 said:
> I think it's time for companion services for my DH. His friends have slipped away and I know he is lonely. I can fill some of his friendship needs, but he definitely needs more socialization. It's been suggested that I start introducing a new "friend" to him but how do I do that? It has also been suggested that I introduce the "friend" as someone who is here to help me…. Do you have any ideas or suggestions that may work or have already worked for you?
> If it helps, here's a snapshot of where he is on his journey: He is a retired lawyer and still is pretty savvy about things I try to introduce to help. His losses so far include things like no short term memory, faulty reasoning, inability to make decisions, emotional impulse control, and apathy. He has also lost the ability to initiate and participate in hobbies he used to enjoy (guitar playing, reading, books, motorcycles and driving fast cars (thank goodness!), etc. He walks the dog daily but that's all the exercise he does. He finds it difficult to follow a plot line on TV shows/movies but watches anyway, saying he just enjoys the different scenes as discrete episodes.
> Any suggestions welcome! And, thank you!!

> @Anna2022 said:
> I think it's time for companion services for my DH. His friends have slipped away and I know he is lonely. I can fill some of his friendship needs, but he definitely needs more socialization. It's been suggested that I start introducing a new "friend" to him but how do I do that? It has also been suggested that I introduce the "friend" as someone who is here to help me…. Do you have any ideas or suggestions that may work or have already worked for you?
> If it helps, here's a snapshot of where he is on his journey: He is a retired lawyer and still is pretty savvy about things I try to introduce to help. His losses so far include things like no short term memory, faulty reasoning, inability to make decisions, emotional impulse control, and apathy. He has also lost the ability to initiate and participate in hobbies he used to enjoy (guitar playing, reading, books, motorcycles and driving fast cars (thank goodness!), etc. He walks the dog daily but that's all the exercise he does. He finds it difficult to follow a plot line on TV shows/movies but watches anyway, saying he just enjoys the different scenes as discrete episodes.
> Any suggestions welcome! And, thank you!!

Anna, my DH interests and hobbies were exactly like yours, motorcycles, airplanes, cars, reading, music. He is always friendly and talks and at one time others found him interesting. I found it hard to believe when he tells me he is not sociable. He sounds as if he might be in the same stage as your DH. He was diagnosed with MCI, but I think he may be in Stage 2. He can still play his trumpet and some piano, but do see him losing interest. We still have good conversations. He doesn’t read much and cannot follow movies.

It is very difficult to find friends, or to be sociable with others these days. He never had many friends. I do try and get him out walking among neighbors, stopping by short visits with my family. He enjoys going grocery shopping, and errands with me sometimes. Although it does slow me down. I appreciate the people that take time and talk to him.

He is not ready for daycare yet. A friend suggested having someone come for light housekeeping for few hours and talk to him. It’s a good idea, except he enjoys vacuuming, making bed, etc. So that would be a take away of things he likes to do.

WIG023….

Can I ask how your DH feels about the upcoming move? I believe my DH is in Stage 4. We have our home up for sale as it’s just too big for me to manage alone. We have dear friends who are always willing to help but I don’t want to take advantage of that. This move is going to be very hard on him. He doesn’t want to leave and gets very emotional. Do you have any suggestions? What are you doing to ease the stress of a major move? Thank you for any suggestions.

Anna i was thinking about your post yesterday, and although you say your DH was social, he sounds like an introvert to me, and my personal experience and observation is that we introverts (my partner and I are both fairly extreme) have a harder time as dementia progresses. Most of our interests and activities are solo or with one or two close people, and when you lose yourself and ability to sustain those few relationships, it's devastating. Most day care and MC activities are for extroverts, and my partner shuns those, even more so now as she is also losing more hearing and has a hard time with a lot of background noise. Even when they play soft "background" music at meals it drives her crazy, and its frustrating not to be able to control those things in a group environment.

I'll be interested to hear how it goes introducing companion care. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll bond with this person. One on one sounds like it might suit him and I'll hope so. I wasn't able to find anyone in our rural area during the pandemic…

I face a similar problem with DW. She has no short-term memory, not much long-term memory, no executive function, and she's easily confused. I've concluded she's reverted to when she was in graduate school, the last time she lived alone and took care of everything herself. She has delusions of competence and thinks she does or could do all those things... but she can't. However, in this delusion, "there's nothing wrong with me", so it's hard to introduce a caregiver. And since we have a very small circle of friends, it would be hard to use the ruse of introducing a friend.

DW needs something to do during the day. She is an active person, so sitting in front of a TV is not for her. I was able to take her to a day program for a few weeks. Many day programs seem to be structured like a classroom, with a leader in front of long, parallel tables. DW tried that for one session and didn't like it. I think she had trouble with the activities and that frustrated her. But then we found a related program that was structured like a seminar, with participants around a long table and with several facilitators who could provide individual attention. DW enjoyed the program and liked the leaders, but eventually we had to drop out. Although the program was supposed to run until 2:30, DW started sundowning after lunch and wanted to go home. She said she would walk home (7 mi.!), and the facilitators had to keep an eye on her until I could retrieve her. The net respite time for me after subtracting travel times was about 2 hrs., and it just wasn't worth it to me.