Just need to scream

HangingIn · May 5

Tonight DH went up to bed and came down again almost immediately to complain that "someone" kept messing with the shades in the bedroom and he wished they would stop. I reminded him that the only people who go into that room are him and me. It's true that sometimes, if he hasn't raised the shades in the morning I will do it or I'll draw them at night, but I'm pretty sure I didn't do any of that today. He looked doubtful and I said that I could guarantee that nobody is sneaking into the house to mess with his head by playing with the shades (which made him chuckle).

It's a little thing, and I know it's the disease causing his suspicions, and usually this sort of thing doesn't bother me much, but I swear sometimes I just want to scream. (I don't.)

SSHarkey · May 5

Funny how when it’s late and we’re exhausted, we are so easily set off by the smallest things. I get it. Happens to me, too. And I step back and think and wonder why in the world I let something like that get to me when everything else is so much worse.

trottingalong · May 5

I completely understand. My DH has focused on a blanket on our bed. Almost nightly he asks, where it came from, if it’s an electric blanket and why is it on our bed. I’m tired, trying to go to sleep, and he starts asking about the blanket. Deep breaths and I remind myself to act like it’s the first time I have heard this question, since in his mind, it’s the first time he has asked it.

charley0419 · May 5

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69114/just-need-to-scream

all I can say is count to 5,suck it up and never correct , argue or accuse

Windsock · May 5

Good morning. I can sure relate! Just as we turn off the lights I kiss my DW and hardly 30 seconds later she asks, “Don’t we kiss anymore.” Sometimes I reach over and kiss her again and sometimes I say, “ we just did, Babe” and give her a squeeze. I’m tired but try to think of what might be ahead. Such as, “ Who are you and why are you in my bed?”

Lkrielow99 · May 5

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208182#Comment_208182

The first time my DH asked who I was one morning, I felt I was in an episode of the “Twilight Zone.” I will never forget that moment. Now when a new bazaar behavior pops up, my mind just start humming the Twilight Zone music. I guess it’s my minds way of keeping my sanity by finding humor. I either laugh or cry, and I’m tired of crying.

Windsock · May 5

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208184#Comment_208184

There has been a couple of hints that that moment is coming for us as well. It will be hard to deal with. I can’t imagine after 50 years

jfkoc · May 5

Your husband lives in a different reality. You have to go where he is.

It is important to validate his emotions. Trying to explain goes no where.

Example….."oh no, someone is messing with the shades again…how annoying"

All of that said, it takes tike to learn this new approach but once learned it will make living with dementia much easier.

Gig Harbor · May 6

I have heard others say that they replied “ you stay here and I will tell them to leave and never come back.” They proceeded to go into the other room and yell at the “visitor “ to leave and never come back again and it worked to calm their loved one.

sandwichone123 · May 7

My go-to response is, "I hate it when that happens." That lets me agree with dh's emotion without having to address the truth of his concern. Your mileage may vary.

Just need to scream

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