What is wrong with me? (Rhetorical question)

Don't beat yourself up Belle. He clearly requires supervision, but you are letting him dictate who provides it. I did that too for as long as i possibly could-i think most of us do that. But at some point, for your own sanity, you have to take this "choice" away from your loved one and get the help that You need so that you both don't succumb to this disease. LaneyG has a similar post this morning.

Rather than cancel your trip, can you hire someone to stay with him? Just throwing it out there. My partner would have refused such a scenario also.

I’m exactly where you are. My DH is definitely started stage 5. Last year I took a girls weekend and for the most part things went ok. Now I’m faced with this year’s annual girls weekend and I know there will be some hiccups. He would never accept home care, as he is anosognosia. He doesn’t cook, he doesn’t smoke, he doesn’t wander, he doesn’t do much. But, I have two dogs I will have to watch along with him on the cameras. Support groups have told me to not go, but I don’t think they understand my loneliness and fantasies of running away. I think this is a hard choice and one that will need some creativity to pull off. More cameras, more AirTags, call his friends to go over and visit him, put my dogs in the kennel, etc. I can set alarms at night that will send me notifications. I need to escape the Twilight Zone before it draws me into the abyss. I feel if I don’t take this weekend, I may act out my fantasy of running away. I love everyone’s post here and have so far been able to navigate these waters with great advice. I wish you well and a big hug, you’re not alone and you’re in the right place. Come back often.

Oh gosh, this really hits home for me too. My son asked me about going together to an antique sale/event two hours away in a couple of weeks. I explained to him how my DH is unable to care for himself & the two dogs for me to have a full day outing. I do have a Dr appointment scheduled for DH this week where I hope to have in home care recommendations for a couple of times per week. I've slowly begun having a couple of hours outing by myself each week for a couple of months and this had been helpful. I'm very thankful for the insightful suggestions I've seen here, a day at a time ❤

Me, too. I should occasionally travel for work and I had to tell my boss I just can't, and why. I miss those 3 day conferences in an expensive city with a generous per diem... ha!

Her sister has offered to come stay so i can get away, but that comes with its own issues. Last year I got to go canoe camping with my brother's family. This year I'm planning a stay cation while she's here because it's more hassle than it's worth to leave her in charge of the house and the animals as well as my partner.

And, related - last night I rode my horse with friends and stayed around afterward to have a beverage and watch the moon. I got home at 10:15 - an hour past bedtime!! You would have thought I was a 14-year-old who had been smoking cigarettes on the street corner, by the reaction I got when I came home, even after a text conversation at 9pm about where I was and when I'd be back. We used to do this all the time (ride at sunset and hang out after) but she has no memory of it and I rarely go out in the evening. Need to do that more often, I guess, to normalize it again while I can.

My son worked at a vet's that housed pets over night. You might want to check with your local vet hospital if they do overnight kenneling.