Mom with Dementia constantly leaving home

tty123 · May 25

Hi! I’m new here. I travel for work and bring my mom with me because I am an only child. We’ve been doing this for the last few years. She was doing well for the longest time, but she was just formally diagnosed with Dementia after she left where we’re currently staying and got lost. A neighbor called the police and they took her to the ER and did a CT scan because they were concerned about a stroke.

Does anyone else have problems with someone in their lie with Dementia leaving home and getting lost? Any ideas about what I should do? After this contract, I will be settling down so we can stay in one place. I’m currently trying to get her in an Adult Day Care, but the paperwork is still being processed and taking a while. I’m trying to hire someone to sit with her while I’m at work, but that is taking a while too due to the vetting process. Are there anyways to prevent her from leaving without making the home like a prison? I tried some child door covers for the door knobs. They averted her at first, but with persistence she has figured out how to get through it. I have a watch with gps on it, so a few times she has left I’ve been able to find her. But I’m so worried something bad will happen if she keeps leaving. Any help would be appreciated.

Lynn24 · May 25

Good morning, we use a Prime Line door knob lock out device that has a key to keep my mother from unlocking the front door. She has access to the back door because the backyard is fenced in.

Hope this helps. The door knob lock with key has prevented my mother from gaining access to go outside from the front door over the past couple of years, of which she would wander down the sidewalk and say she is leaving, so she no longer tries to unlock the door.

M1 · May 25

Welcome to the forum. Are you leaving her alone at home or in your temporary places while you work? It does seem like that is no longer safe. And I don't think it is legal to lock someone in without supervision while you are not there. There might be extreme consequences to that if something happened while you were gone, like a fire or a plumbing emergency.

Are her finances such that she could afford assisted living or memory care? Have you investigated getting her qualified for Medicaid if needed? If you look to the right under Quick Links to Groups, there is one for new members with a lot of frequently cited information and steps to take early in the disease process. Might be worth a look just to make sure you have all your ducks in a row.

tty123 · May 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210488#Comment_210488

No her finances are not good at all. She was a single mother. She also does not qualify for Medicaid in AL. I’ve tried. I cannot get any state assistance because I’m am not a resident of WI because I’m a contract worker. Once we settle down, I was planning on trying to get assistance.

Yes she stays at home alone right now. I have no other choice, which is why I’m trying to get her into a daycare or look for someone to stay with her. I’m taking care of both of us.

tty123 · May 25

Thank you. I’ll have to look into that. We have a side door that she can get out of in case of emergencies, but it’s the front door that she keeps leaving out of.

Lynn24 · May 25

Wonderful. The door knob lock is available on Amazon.com for only $16.

Hope5757 · May 25

Hello OP,

I’m sorry for your mom and your current situation.

You really don’t want to lock her in the house. As @M1 said there are legal issues and safety issues.

Would FMLA be an option for a bit?

Until you are able to get a sitter or day care, maybe motion sensors and alarms would be an option. In the morning before you leave, you might get a gps device on her. I’d probably opt for something like the inserts in shoes so she doesn’t think about removing the device.

Then security cameras all over the house, especially pointing to doors. Motion sensors in the primary hallway that leads to the exit?

I’d also make sure no gas appliances are accesible and make sure you have smoke detectors and CO2 detectors that alert your phone.

tty123 · May 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210497#Comment_210497

Hello. I appreciate you offering different solutions. I’m not trying to lock her in the house, just asking for help in ways to keep from wandering away while I’m at work.

I don’t have FMLA as a contract worker. My contracts are usually 13 weeks. So essentially, I have to work in order to take care of us both. I do have small cameras in the house that alert my phone. I can’t do all I would like to do with the house, because we are in furnished housing while I’m here temporarily. I have about 2 months left before my contract is over and we move permanently. I’m just trying to make it these last couple of months but it just seems like everything is falling apart very fast.

Hope5757 · May 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210503#Comment_210503

I absolutely appreciate your difficult situation. Blink and other similar inexpensive and temporary cameras might suffice? They have a motion sensor alert that I’ve found helpful.

tty123 · May 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210519#Comment_210519

I will definitely get some. Thank you so much for you input!!

Mom with Dementia constantly leaving home

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