New diagnosis after 4 years

PKidd · May 28

I am brand new to this group. As I am reading your posts I am encouraged by the support you give one another. I sure could use it!

My DH started showing signs of dementia 4 years ago. We have been going to the doc all this time. One week ago, after doing some tests, they have diagnosed him with vascular dementia. Even though I knew it and we have been living with it, hearing the doctor say it has sent me into a very sad place. He is already a bit past mid stage and not much like himself anymore. I feel paralyzed, like I don't know what to do to move forward. I am just sad.

M1 · May 28

Welcome to the forum, though sorry you need to be here. It's awful on an ongoing basis, but yes, this group is a lifeline. There are times when it really hits, and hearing it confirmed by an objective source is one of those times. You knew it, but now there's no escaping it, and what is likely to follow.

You can learn a lot here. Look under Quick Links and Groups—there is one for new members with a lot of frequently cited information and support tools.

there will be many sad days, unfortunately. My mantra is providing safe passage to the one I love more than life itself. That's what keeps me going.

annie51 · May 28

Welcome to the group - it's a wonderful place to ask questions, vent, validate your feelings, from people who really understand what you're going through. So sorry about your situation. You're feeling the same feelings as many of us, especially when you actually hear it from the doctor. It's a gut punch! I remember that feeling the first time my DH's primary asked him to draw a clock and I saw what he drew. I just knew that was the beginning of a long journey. It's such a sad place to be. But over time, you'll accept it. As many will tell you, if you haven't already done so, make sure you get your financial and legal ducks in a row. Meet with a certified elder law attorney to get the documentation done that will most benefit you and your DH.

We're with you in spirit every day!

HowDidIGetHere · May 28

I have noticed changes gradually for the last decade and yes, he went to all his doctors appointments too, supposedly sharing my concerns. When he started coming home unable to tell me what they said, I started going with him. He did very poorly on the MOCA. It is hard to understand how nothing was noticed until I started to go to the appointments with him. Maybe that’s more common than I know. I can relate to all you shared. Hang in there! 🌺

Anna2022 · May 29

I have found that just because you know, it still takes your breath away to hear the truth from the doctor. It was this way for me. So very glad you have found us.

PKidd · May 30

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210886#Comment_210886

Exactly, no escape. I love your mantra. Thank you for sharing that!

PKidd · May 30

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/210888#Comment_210888

Oh wow! When my DH drew the clock I felt just like that!

Thanks for the advice about an elder law attorney. Luckily, I actually know one. That's where I will start.

New diagnosis after 4 years

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