Trouble Redirecting

I was a therapist (now retired) and even my current therapist has to remind me to "reassure and redirect." Her repetition may indicate how vulnerable and anxious she feels. Reassure and redirect or, as someone else here says, rinse and repeat. You can do this!

I think my DW's manifestation of this takes the form of saying she hasn't seen me in a long time, where do I live, where have I been, would I like to live here? I think she senses a distance between us, and there is. It's self-protection on my part. No crying from her, but she is delighted when I agree to live with her.

I personally get a bit fatigued over this redirect solution

When I am up set the last thing I want is for someone to change the subject. How about a hug, a listen and a little understanding of how I am feeling.

Naiomi Feil hit the nail on the head when she explained validation to us. Have we forgotten about validation completely?

@CindyBum

In addition to the Validation strategies which were very useful here, you might want to check yourself.

As the disease progresses, it's not uncommon for the nature of the relationship to morph away from the kind of love associated with a romantic life-partner in life to something more like the loving tenderness one might have for a young child. Sometimes even the most attentive caregiver is worn down in the moment by the steady drip-drip-drip of repetitive questions and messes created and betrays their weariness or frustration. Since emotional intelligence is preserved well into the latest stages of the disease, a PWD can sense your emotional temperature even when they can understand the context.

Medication can also help blunt getting stuck with negative feelings.

HB