One success, one scare and one funny
Success—took my HWA to an adult day care for the first time today and he loved it!
Scare—have an appointment with an oncologist tomorrow to investigate some odd blood test results.
Funny—getting ready for bed last night and my HWA looked at me and asked, "Just what is your purpose here?" 🤔
Comments
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Good luck tomorrow with the Oncologist. The comment made was funny, I would be stumped coming up with a good comeback. I couldn’t find what the acronym HWA stands for when looking through the abbreviations.
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Great post Laurie. So glad he liked the day care. And do let us know what happens tomorrow. Odd results usually bear repeating before jumping to conclusions but I'm sure you're worried. Fingers crossed...
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Good luck at the oncologist & glad daycare went well.
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Thanks for the laugh.
Good luck today.
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Thank you for the HWA explanation. I was stumped.
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Thanks for sharing - we all need those lighter moments! Good luck with your doctor visit.
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Adult Day Care - Win! That's great!
Self Care - Good for you for staying on top of this. I hope all goes well.
*Edited - I see your response and also that it was your DH and not YOU facing a medical scare. I agree with M1, and would not do anything further given your DH's age and dementia stage, and would get hospice on board now. It has been 2.5 yrs for us with in-home hospice support so it is not too soon for you. Very helpful with all DH's ups and downs throughout Stage 6 and now early 7.
Question of the Day - Hilarious! The things our LOs come out with 🤣
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maybe “husband with Alzheimer’s”?
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thank you. I was definitely stumped.
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So the "scare" was real. Oncologist thinks he has some type of blood cancer and will need a bone marrow biopsy to verify. Is it wrong for me to hope the cancer takes him quickly so he doesn't have to suffer through the horrible final stages of Alzheimer's?
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My DH has had a blood cancer (MPN) for 13 yrs now - ET (essential thrombocythemia) controlled with meds and reg blood tests. That I could deal with. The diagnosis of VD and ALZ with behavioral changes, caregiving and taking over all household responsibilities is a whole new ballgame.
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You will have some tough choices ahead. If he is in the early stages of Alzheimers, I think it is reasonable to do the diagnostic work up to determine exactly what cancer he has and treatment options. You may or may not choose to pursue treatment. If he is in the late stages of Alzheimers, I don't think I would pursue much of a diagnostic work up and certainly not treatment. Perhaps it would be reasonable to get a palliative care consult (if available) to help you in your decision making.
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And no, it isn't wrong to hope that the cancer takes him before he has to suffer the indignities of end stage Alzheimers. I hope every day that my DW dies of something else before she hits stage 6…
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Laurie I'm so sorry. No it's not wrong to consider not treating this or even going any further down any diagnostic path. I would have a long conversation with the oncologist even about the bone marrow biopsy before it is done. With any test, you have to decide what you will do with the information before you even acquire it. I would ask him/her what they are most suspicious of. There are some indolent leukemias that require no treatment or that now respond really easily to some oral treatments. If that's a possibility and he is still in early stage disease, I might consider it, but even that is not likely to be so straightforward, because it will likely involve frequent doctors visits and blood tests. can he do that, and if sk, for how long? If that's not a possibility and/or he is in stage 4 or beyond, i would stop now, not even do a biopsy, and ask for hospice. You do indeed have some difficult decisions to make and I feel for you.
Edited to add: i looked back at your other posts, i see he's now over 80 and was stage 4 in 2022? No question in my mind that i wouldn't even do the biopsy. I'd ask for hospice now.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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