The dreaded has finally happened

Ouch. Yes, this is par for the course and really hurts. When DH first uttered those words, asking about "The other woman" I was devastated. I am sorry for your pain. FWIW, if behavior escalates further, it is worth checking him for a silent UTI. DH went from suddenly not knowing who I was, to hallucinating multiple wives in the house and having conversations with them, exit seeking to the extreme (trying to climb out the window) and more drama all in the space of a day or two.

I mention this because it can be progression but also the suddenness may indicate there is something else going on like a UTI. Again, if off the wall behaviors escalate, you should test for a UTI with culture.

Here is a link to a long ago post, when I was commenting on another spouse caregiver's "first time". It always makes me reflect on those sad experiences which, in hindsight, no longer sting so much anymore. I got to the point before too long where I was just genuinely glad he still liked me no matter who he thought I was, or was not. You hang in there.

*Edited to insert my comment from the post linked above:

Yes, my DH also has multiple wives (all of them, me). The first time he asked me where the other woman went, it was such a gut punch...it took my breath away and made me sad for days. He said, "she was just here in the bed with me", and I realized he didn't really know who I was anymore.

I'm over it now, (well it doesn't hurt like it used to) though it still is beyond me to understand how this brain disease works. Today, we spent several hours seated next to each other on the couch. He, resting his eyes, and me working. I left for 15 minutes (next room) to prepare a quick meal. When I brought it back he wanted to know where the guy went, who had been sitting next to him. And still later, was his son going to eat too...repeating "he was just sitting there" (I didn't bother telling him, no, that was me).

As for the multiples, yes, he had that hallucination a couple weeks ago too -- I came back into the bedroom and he was so glad to see me. Said the other 4 or 5 ladies that were in there before just kept bothering him, and he really needed to sleep (!). That would be me. And believe me, I wasn't bothering him that I know of. Just sitting up in bed next to him, reading sanity-saving posts on this forum. 

Hang in there. The only thing we know for sure, is that it's going to get even more interesting! When his hallucinations first started it was worries that intruders were threatening us so he was stockpiling knives, big garden tools, a bat, etc...and I quickly got his neuropsych involved before someone got hurt. He's not so agitated or worried now, but still having really wacky experiences with people I can't see or hear. I even hear him having conversations with them sometimes.

My DH does not know who I am, either. Some of the time he knows I'm his wife, but thinks I'm his late wife who died 25 years ago. Now I'm just the nice lady who come to visit and fusses over him. The first time it happened, he did have a silent UTI, so I would definitely have your DH checked. Unfortunately now it is the progression of ALZ with DH.

It is a gut punch the first time they don't know you. Mine was when he told me that he needed to let his wife know where he was. Now he can't really express himself much at all due to aphasia, so he doesn't talk about who I am or ask any questions. I just hope he knows that I am someone who loves him and cares for him.

My heart goes out to all of you. DH has started to forget names of family members and who is who. I fear this may be coming next. Honestly for some reason it terrifies me.