Help! I am exhausted and depressed

I am so sorry you are going through this, spernstein. I can feel the frustration and despair in your post. Luckily my husband with Alzheimer's who is also late stage 5 is pleasant. Plus, he can barely speak so even if he was aggressive, he wouldn't be able to express himself.

I would highly suggest that you get some additional help or find an adult daycare so you can have some respite. Could you get someone to come to your house to stay with him for a couple of afternoons a week? Do you have children or other family members who could help? Church friends? Memory care facility?

One important thing I learned is that you have to get a thick skin. Only you at this point knows what is best for you and your husband. Stick to your guns. When I finally realized that I could no longer reason with my husband, it freed me up to start making decisions on my own. If you are frightened of him, call the police. You are important!!

Welcome to the forum, maybe this is your first step to getting that help. Deep breath.

First of all, your DH should not have any say about whether you sell property or not. or in any financial dealings, for that matter. Do you hold durable power of attorney for him? If so, then the decision is strictly yours and you don't even discuss it with him. If not, you need to talk to a certified elder law attorney right away about getting it or suing for guardianship.

Second, it sounds like you need hands on help caring for him, be it in home help, a day program, or considering memory care. An attorney can also help there in terms of figuring out what you can afford, and whether you need to get him qualified for Medicaid. Look at nelf.org for a list of qualified attorneys by location.

Call the 24 hour help line-1-800-272-3900 and ask to speak to a care consultant. They can help you think it through.

if you haven’t done so, please read the book “The 36 Hour Day” it really helped me after my husbands diagnosis. Have your son read it too. It will help him. Tips: don’t ask, tell or consult him about anything. It won’t work. Don’t take his sermonizing personally. It’s because he’s losing control and anxious. It’s called chattering. Just mumble uh huh and change the subject or offer a treat. You cannot reason with someone whose reasoner is broken. Get a Durable Power of Attorney so you can sign documents and handle financial affairs legally. We all understand how you feel. It’s heartbreaking. So sorry you are going through this. Get help caring for him so you get a break and talk to a counselor, preferably one familiar with Alzheimer’s.