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To the ER or not?

ghphotog
ghphotog Member Posts: 690
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My DW has an abscess just outside of her private part, I know I can just say it but the contract doctor says that if antibiotics don't work in a couple of days she needs to go to the ER. God I hope not. Waiting hours in the ER with an advanced Alzheimer's wife in full incontinence and hysterics is not something I want to do.

Should I insist they try antibiotics longer than two days and deny ER visits? Maybe time for a hospice eval and let this thing heal on its own or run it's course?

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    Oh what a tough one. The general treatment for abscesses is surgical, they usually have to be drained. It may drain spontaneously—that would be ideal.

    Honestly I would opt for hospice and conservative treatment, though realizing that this is serious enough to be an end of life event, it could definitely take her life if she becomes septic. Does she seem to be in a lot of discomfort, or not? If she's not in a lot of pain, I would keep her at MC. I'm so sorry, that's a really tough call.

  • ghphotog
    ghphotog Member Posts: 690
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    M1, I have a hospice evaluation in the works.

  • ghphotog
    ghphotog Member Posts: 690
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    She seems to only be in pain when they have to wipe her.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 517
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    oh my! These are the tough decisions I dread . So sorry to hear this . I hope the hospice evaluation gives you some direction . Note to M1: Thank you for always giving great straight forward guidance.

  • Anna2022
    Anna2022 Member Posts: 186
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    Thank you, M1, for always being straightforward and kind. Many, many thanks.

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    Least i can do. Gotta be uncomfortable, it's going to be very difficult to heal regardless because of the incontinence. I'd have a very low threshold to give her morphine and keep her comfortable. such things that would be easily treatable in anyone else are life threatening here. Perhaps it helps to look at it as almost inevitable in this setting: something is going to take her, and here it is. Treating it aggressively does what? Prolongs her agony? Im so sorry.

  • Iris L.
    Iris L. Member Posts: 4,489
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    This sounds like a Bartholin's gland cyst that got infected. It can be treated with sitz baths, possibly oral antibiotics. You might ask a gyn doctor or wound care nurse about a topical ointment to apply for pain management.

    Iris

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,946
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    Not all Hospices are created equal.. Finger crossed for your mothers current treatment. Please keep us updated.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 517
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    ghphotog, that is good news. May help her be more comfortable . It sounds like the hospice evaluation gave you some comfort

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    That's great. Better to call to early than too late and this is proof why…..

  • fmb
    fmb Member Posts: 473
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    That is very good news!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more