Driving while impaired

maybe that’s why they are looking into MC- because putting their spouses into locked units is the only real way of stopping them from driving. I couldn’t get my step-dad to quit driving until he just felt so bad he didn’t leave the AL. Luckily, the staff at the AL had better luck than me and they could get him to allow them to run errands for him( he wouldn’t ask or let me most of the time). So he barely drove the last couple years of his life ( as in a tank of gas would last months).

In my state, you cannot ask the state to re-test someone’s driving skills. Only the doctor or law enforcement can. I did not have POA on him and he would have had me arrested if I had disabled or moved his vehicle.

==If you had let the air out of his tires or something, how would he have known it was you? ==

In our case, because he lived in an AL with cameras on the parking lot.

In terms of your support group members, please say something to them. If they won’t act, then call the police and ask to have him followed. They at least can yank his license, which may allow the spouses to feel able to do something.

Several months ago my husband was tested by a neuropsychologist. I had expressed to our PCP that I was concerned about my DH's driving and needed some professional backup on this issue, which he in turn reported to the neuropsychologist. She tested him as MCI but "see no reason for him to cease driving." What?? Really?? At least our PCP is talking about this with him at each visit and together we are making some headway. When I tell DH that an accident resulting in someone else's injury or, heaven forbid, death could open us to financial ruin he seems to be getting the message. It was unbelievable the neuro wouldn't help with this!!

I’m on Team sabotage, by any means necessary. Don’t ask, don’t tell, just get them off the road.

It required major, repeated, stealth moves and lots of near anxiety attacks for me, but like Elainechem, I got it done. The dents, dings, speeding tickets and red light violations would have given way to worse and when you know better (us that is, not our PWD LOs), well then we are supposed to do better.

So disappearing keys & remotes again and again (SO many extra sets of keys!), disabling the car several times, losing (hiding) the garage door remote and key, blocking DH’s path with my own car once during an ice storm (he actually was determined to drive off in those conditions- that’s the one time he knew it was me trying to stop him which worked that day anyway!).

But he was so determined and eventually I had no choice but to disappear the car altogether and feign ignorance when he thought it was stolen… it took a lot but was worth it to save possible injuries or death.

No, it’s not easy and I really can’t fathom the blase attitude of some in the medical profession about this but you’re right - too many seem to underestimate the impairment risk where driving is concerned. It’s not just about potentially getting lost or forgetting one’s destination! Infuriating.

A friend of mine who's dad had alzheimer's and wouldn't stop driving finally disconnected the cables to the battery. His dad couldn't figure out how to reconnect them and asked his son for help. His son took the car, telling him he would take it to the shop to get fixed and then kept telling his dad he was waiting to hear back from the shop. His dad forgot and finally gave up.

It's not a move for everyone, but he gained so much peace from getting the car away from his dad.

Maybe another approach is to remove a strategic fuse that will prevent the car from starting. It's much less obvious than a missing battery cable or even a dead battery.