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Move done , blocked phone

mabelgirl
mabelgirl Member Posts: 200
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Well the move went well as planned into AL. She seemed happy , all be it tired after all the activity she’s not been used to. We did have an issue with the room mate. Per the director the roommate understood the common areas would be shared but she wasn’t going to have it. Thank goodness her family paid for a single suite and she’ll move out tomorrow. Word of warning if you are moving a LO into a shared/ companion room ask to talk to the family about furniture and belongings in the common areas to avoid move in day conflict, my moms chair and side table barely fit in living room.
So while we left her in a relative good state she called me about an hour or so later worried about getting her mail (5 times). It did my heart good that she went to dinner with the resident ambassadors (non dementia residents, retired RN) and later was sitting with her roommate watching TV. Went to sleep thinking maybe it will work out and give her some good months. That helped my feelings of failure not being able to care for her at home, failing her, my siblings, aunts and uncles.
Today the anger / agitation kicked in big time. She called me saying I locked her up to get her wealth of treasures , that I should have died and I’m not her daughter, so forth. I told her I am not going to listen to this after about 4 calls that I answered from the twenty or so she made, ended up blocking her. Warned the siblings and apologized in advance from hiding from her. So suffice it to say as much as I want to see her in the coming weeks I won’t until I know I won’t set her off.My question to the community here , is for those who’ve made the move do you think not taking calls makes our LO move agitated / angry that it’s better to just let her rant to me? I figure I don’t have to listen to the words but I know I will.

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,701
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    Mabel you have NOT failed anyone here. My fear however still is that she's going to need MC not AL. I sure hope you have a backup plan. Good for you for blocking the phone. Keep us posted how it goes.

  • terei
    terei Member Posts: 566
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    Getting herself more + more agitated by talking to you is hard on you and also on her. If she is not acting out with others, I would avoid interacting with her for awhile til she acclimates to her move.

    If you are with her + she starts in, I would excuse myself to the ‘bathroom’ + leave. JMO

  • mabelgirl
    mabelgirl Member Posts: 200
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    well I did find out when signing the contract for AL that the level of care , no matter the cost is on Medicaid. If they do not pay the entire amount the facility has to write it off. So as long as the facility stays in business my Mom, God willing lives her days out there. The family is responsible for room and board. I absolutely thinking the same thing watching the other residents talking with mom.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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