My DW changes moods

Welcome to the forum. There's a name for this, It's called showtiming. The presence of relative strangers causes people with dementia to put forth their best efforts and they can minimize their deficits for a period of time. It's similar to toddlers behaving better for others and saving their worst behavior for their parents, who are safe targets. Glad she hasxa good time once she gets started.

I find that my DH's thought process is so limited to minute by minute; therefore, if a distraction comes along, he will react differently to a new stimulus. It redirects them. Maybe that is part of it.

Before I needed to place my DW, I would take her to a daycare program. This is exactly the response I often got until one of the trained program aides would come to the car and coax her out. She would then participate as fully as she was able and reportedly had a great time.

I came to understand it was her unwillingness to leave her comfort zone. Although her actions and responses were that of someone being difficult, she really didn’t want to leave the familiarity of me, our house, our car, our routine. Rather than pleasantly say she would rather stay with me, she instead acted just like your DW. I never found any other way around this other than to have the help of the program aides.

In response to jfkoc's comment I will note that I always got out of the car, came around and opened her door with the intention of escorting her to the day care, and this worked about half the time. Others times she would not get out. This is when an aide would see I was having trouble and coax her out with a good deal of enthusiasm about the fun things they were going to do. The aides were posted outside to assist like this as I was not the only one with this problem. Again I think it was the change in routine caused the issue.

part of it is showtiming. Part of it is why the redirect concept is suggested so often. Redirect is the human equivalent of ‘SQUIRREL’, due to the short attention span. I don’t mean to insult anyone’s loved one with that comparison.

Here's another thought. My DW desperately wants to feel useful, but it's hard for me to provide her with suitable activities. When I'm able to get her to a day program, the staff try to solicit her help, and that seems to keep her engaged. I can imagine your DW reacts positively to the request for help.