second home

Yea, I looked at a vacation home before the last real estate price increase but hestiated due to DH disease. Kind of wish we had done it! But now I am worried about our current home. two story not a very accessible bathroom, etc. Not sure if we should move to a one story or just make renovations which can be expensive. He had his first fall a couple of weeks ago. But we really like where we live.

@Lilydaisy What a great gift it was to have had the vacation property while you were both able to enjoy it. That said, I agree it might make sense to simplify your lifestyle and living space while also considering where you want to be in stage 8.

My parents split the year between their place in FL and coastal MD. When dad was diagnosed, fairly late in the game despite my best efforts, I moved them to PA where they raised me. It's risky for the caregiver of a PWD who has progressed to a stage where they're no longer recognizing their home to not have eyes on them. My mom almost died with dad as her medical advocate because he was unable to recognize she was in trouble, nor would he have been able to effectively advocate for her is she was able to ask. Had she died, dad would have been alone without anyone looking out for him. As it was, I got a call from the hospital as an emergency contact a few days after she was admitted; I called mom & dad to check in daily to check in, but he told me some plausible story about her being at Publix or the pool with friends.

Because they didn't make the decision to move sooner, it fell to me to manage the logistics and execute the transfers using a POA. I managed the move out of MD and used that furniture to set up an apartment, after that sold, mom wanted a house, so I found one and got them moved into that. Meanwhile, I was renting their place in FL monthly and arranging a turn-key sale which meant I only had to arrange the move of a POS-worth of personal things and ship a car.

I found it best to do most of it behind dad's back. We considered keeping and renting the FL house as an investment, but with increasing insurance costs it didn't seem worth the modest return. It exists as an option if you're in a hot rental market.

Both mom and dad fussed mightily about losing the Florida house. Mom has come to accept it and when I moved dad into the new place I found for him, he believed it was his Florida house. I'm glad they had the 13 years.

HB

That is one gorgeous van…I can see why you miss it greatly. My DH is in the early stages of Alz…we thought about getting a van similar to yours, but I would have to do pretty much everything…like your situation…so am hesitating. Some days he is ok and would be able to manage most everything, but if he has a meltdown all bets are off. The stress of traveling would probably trigger many fits of anger and pretty much all around foolishness so most likely wouldn't be enough of a reward for the trouble. For awhile he wanted to buy a big sailboat and live on it (something we did for 8 yrs while we were in our 30's) but, thankfully, seems to have given up that idea. In our 70's now, so even without alz it would be much more difficult. Sometimes I feel like we should do something adventurous while we still can, but in reality it is probably already too late for that. What a horrible disease.

@Bailey's Mom said dementia brings “pretty much all around foolishness”…

Nailed it.