H

I would not accept the role of POA if I had to share it with another person with whom I need consensus to act. No way. I would not accept the role of care for a PWD or medical decision making unless I had oversight of their finances as well. I've read too many threads where aging parents split responsibility to sign on for that nonsense. One common version is joint among siblings where one is the hold-out on paying for care in order to preserve assets for an eventual inheritance— this can happen if the duties are shared by co-POAs or if the duties are split with son taking the financial piece and daughter getting the caregiving.

I am also of the opinion that the medical decision-maker needs to be able to get to the ER as quickly as the PWD when needed. A copy of the POA/Advanced Medical Directive in the glove box of your car is a great idea.

HB

the terms may differ but you want POA that is effective immediately, you do not want to have to wait for her to be declared incompetent. Do not split the responsibility. Your brother can be named the backup to take effect if you cannot serve.

I had POA for my granddaughter while she was deployed in order to take care of her finances and her child. A POA generally has a time frame attached to it and can be very specific in what you’re allowed to do on behalf of the other person. The other person does not need to be incapacitated. The DPOA means it stays in effect until the person reassigns it, no expiration. They can be very specific as well, so you’ll want yours to cover medical and financials . I agree with others do not split responsibility. It is easiest for the caretaker to have it. I basically am my mother’s caretaker but she became very distrustful of me so she made my sister DPOA. We live within an hour of each other and so it works. If I need to get something done I’ll call her and tell her what is needed and we get ‘er dun.

The person who is in charge of the PWD should have the POAs. I also would not share this duty with anyone. Having more than one person as POA is a recipe for conflict.

@Merla

Getting medical records transferred might be best done by her new doctor. When I moved my parents back to PA in 2016, I faxed requests to their docs in FL, DE and MD. [[crickets]]. Their most recent PCP (who saw them each once) in FL sent them— none of their other 14 doctors did. I got them in with a physician at the practice I use who made referrals to the necessary specialists mostly within the same university medical system. The PCP and specialists reached out to the previous doctors as needed for records and generally got what was needed. Were I doing it today, I would set up a PCP who uses EPIC and attempt to merge records from her previous team assuming they also use EPIC.

Once you have the POA, it is a good idea to present it to banks and investment firms for vetting as this can take 2-3 weeks IME. They'll make a copy of the original. A few places will insist on their own form. The SSA doesn't honor POAs but requires you to become a representative payee.

When I sold my parents' houses, the title company required the originals be sent to the courthouse to record the deed. It was sent back within the month; you'll want to make sure you won't be needing the original for that time when you won't have it available to you.

HB

Durable should not require anyone's attestation to incapacity. You can take action immediately and unilaterally with the DPOA document.

The doctor doesn't sign the actual DPOA document; the DPOA document sets the foundation for its need and scope. A doctor would write a Letter of Incapacity, which would then justify the use of the DPOA.

In my case, my mother had DPOA drafted before we knew that we'd need it. The law firm drafted only a DPOA that also works immediately like a POA, but then also is effective if/when the person becomes incapacitated.

Healthcare and other providers (Medicaid, Insurance companies, etc.) might have their own Authorized Representative form that they want you to fill out. But, the DPOA should accompany it to validate that form when you (rather than your incapacitated LO) has filled in out and signed it on behalf of the LO. [There is a specific way that you sign as a POA agent. Ref: https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/how-to-sign-a-power-of-attorney-document-for-someone

Definitely don't count on redoing any POA. Your LO could later be deemed incapacitated to make that decision and then you are stuck with the existing decision or a possible validation of the original.

WARNING: Do NOT rely upon POA/DPOA. Turns out that it in practice it serves as more a "suggestion", whether appropriate or not. Who knew! Banks (e.g.. BoA) often will ignore the financial one and apparently [just learning] health providers won't necessarily honor the medical one, wherein you are the patient via legal Healthcare Surrogate directive. Your only recourse then becomes hiring an attorney and spending thousands to argue why those documents should be honored.

Bank, for example: Best is to be added to the accounts as a co-owner (joint account), if your LO is willing, while they are deemed to be able to make that decision. (This was BoA's advice to us. Although, they often anecdotally acknowledge also that I am the DPOA.)