Good ways to talk to DH's doctor?

I agree. The Dr does not sound very "savvy" to me. Nor does he seem to be a team member.

I would put my concerns in writing and get it to the Dr ASAP. Take a copy with you and give to the nurse when you check in.

At the appointment sit where you can nod yes/no without your husband noticing.

Additionally I would contact the other Dr who may be willing to help without an appointment.

I can relate to these issues Anna. My DH’s PCP seemed to have doubts about the severity of my DH’s Alzheimer issues. It wasn’t until I was very specific about what was going on that he changed his attitude and has been very helpful since.

I wrote down specific things instead of just stating he was angry and agitated and then gave it to the nurse while she was weighing my husband. It had the Dr’s name on it, and she nodded. I wrote: He has definitely moved on to the next phase of his Alzheimer’s. Then listed specific behaviors like ***My husband is putting shaving cream on his dentures instead of denture adhesive, then he screams at me for buying the wrong stuff for his dentures, but he refuses to let me help. *He wakes up at night stating he is too hot, no too cold, and he takes all the bedding off the bed and tries to remake it. This goes on for an hour or more.
I listed about 6 behaviors.
When his doctor came in the exam room, he did ask my DH if he was having any anxiety or if he was having trouble sleeping. And he gave his usual answer … No. But since his PCP read my note, he realized just how bad things were. I think sometimes the doctors need to hear the specifics (rather than just observe their behavior during the appointment) to understand that meds are needed.

I’ll be thinking about you both on Wednesday. I hope things go good and you get him on some meds to help both of you! ❤️

I always leave an update with my husbands doctor before his appointments. Never once has she mentioned this to him. I go in with him for his appointments. She is my primary care doctor too and I always discuss my husband as he greatly impacts my health.

I do the same with my doctor, since my DH and I share the same one. I go in with him to all appts and she’s great talking directly to him knowing I often do the answering. My DH is always just agreeable.

Yes, recommend you send this type of info a week before the appointment. Staff will usually see it first, and it will be in their to-do pile till they get it to the doc. And if the doc was out of the office for a few days, on call, etc ... can be extra delay.

Agree with giving specific examples of behaviors for the doctor to read. Highlight especially those that show poor judgment and safety concerns for your LO. Request cognitive assessment during the visit. The "aha" moment for my mom's PCP happened when he asked her to subtract from 100 by sevens. She couldn't do it. He looked at me and said, "she worked in bookkeeping and accounting, correct?" There were a lot more pressing issues than her ability to subtract, but that's the one that got his attention. FINALLY.