Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

What stage and how long will it last?

I know every one is different but just wondering what stage and how long will this last. MY DH has gone from being angry and obsessed about driving to wanting sex all the time. He will not leave me alone and is always asking me if we are husband and wife. When he doesnt get his way he sulks and make comments under his breath. I have checked the other threads on this subject. There doesnt seem to be any ways to manage it other than medication and getting through it. I know there is medication that will curb this but I was just wondering what stage this usually shows up in and how long will this last.

Comments

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,477
    500 Likes 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    edited October 31

    dementia care central.com has information about different types of dementia and different stages. I believe the obsession with sexual activity is a symptom of a type of dementia rather than a stage of dementia.

    The reason that medication is the only treatment is that you cannot reason with someone whose brain is broken. They simply cannot think logically.

  • elainechem
    elainechem Member Posts: 173
    Legacy Membership 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes
    Member

    My hubby didn't have this issue, fortunately. I have seen many people posting about this, but I haven't seen any follow-up comments. This leads me to believe that it's a passing phase. It may not last longer than a few months. There's a lady in my support group whose husband just began doing this. The interesting thing is that he has erectile dysfunction, so he couldn't do anything even if she were willing. She's more concerned that he will do something embarrassing in public. I understand that a dose of estrogen can correct this.

  • Palmetto Peg
    Palmetto Peg Member Posts: 197
    Third Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 100 Comments 25 Likes
    Member

    My husband has this issue, but right now it is well controlled with Cimetidine - which is generic Tagament! My PCP researched hypersexuality in elderly men with dementia, and found several studies that showed improvement with this medication. He was not only always bothering me and in very crude terms asking for sex, but he also couldn't keep his hands off other women and was always propositioning them, too. He is in Memory Care and there was no way this behavior could be tolerated. I was amazed at how well it works, and it doesn't have the sedating side effects of other medications. Definitely ask your doctor about it. My DH is 78, and has ED, but that didn't stop him from groping and asking. Good luck! It is one of the most difficult stages we went through, and without medication I am pretty sure we would still be dealing with it.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 967
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    definitely talk to his doctor about medication. No way to know how long the behavior will last. I don’t recall it being listed in the Stages chart as it depends on the portion of the brain affected and doesn’t affect everyone with dementia or Alzheimer’s.

  • 4MY❤️
    4MY❤️ Member Posts: 12
    Third Anniversary 25 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member

    Hi, I thought I would chime in here but I’m sorry that I don’t have the answer for you, just support and a similar story. I have been through constant hell with this issue. I hate it and I have to deal with it every single day. My DH has sex on his mind all the time. We are 7 years into seeing signs of Alz and he was diagnosed in 2020. I would say the desire for sex has been there and becoming more and more pronounced over the past two years. I have been hoping this phase will pass but it is lingering and his urges are getting stronger. He is in stage 5. My patience and tolerance are being tested daily. I will try the generic version of tagament as I see it mentioned above. No doctor has given me any meds to help him even though we have a regular physician, neurologist and geriatric psychiatrist. It’s so darn hard and I really feel for you, Christy

  • Belle60
    Belle60 Member Posts: 56
    25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Likes
    Member

    Thank You! I was hoping when he reached stage 5 it was subside but maybe not. I will talk to his neurologist

    about medication. I certainly don't want to do this for the next two years. My DH was formally diagnosed in 2022 but we have been dealing with this issues for many years prior. At least I can still go to work. I know the message is we have to live in their reality but is one area I will not budge on.

  • Belle60
    Belle60 Member Posts: 56
    25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Likes
    Member

    Would an increase in his Zoloft help with this?

  • 4MY❤️
    4MY❤️ Member Posts: 12
    Third Anniversary 25 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member

    Increase in antidepressant did not curb it for my DH. We added more Effexor and tried Prozac on top of his other antidepressant. I learned that antidepressants don’t curb the urges they can just make is more difficult to experience orgasm.

  • Carl46
    Carl46 Member Posts: 143
    100 Comments 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Zoloft helped me in many ways, but not with that. The fact is that men are cursed with a desire for sex from puberty to the end of our lives, even after we can't do it anymore. Most of us realize we aren't going to get any and would regret it if we did, and stop mentioning it, but a man with dementia loses that wisdom.

    Picasso was having children in his 90's. Just saying.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more