What stage and how long will it last?
I know every one is different but just wondering what stage and how long will this last. MY DH has gone from being angry and obsessed about driving to wanting sex all the time. He will not leave me alone and is always asking me if we are husband and wife. When he doesnt get his way he sulks and make comments under his breath. I have checked the other threads on this subject. There doesnt seem to be any ways to manage it other than medication and getting through it. I know there is medication that will curb this but I was just wondering what stage this usually shows up in and how long will this last.
Comments
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dementia care central.com has information about different types of dementia and different stages. I believe the obsession with sexual activity is a symptom of a type of dementia rather than a stage of dementia.
The reason that medication is the only treatment is that you cannot reason with someone whose brain is broken. They simply cannot think logically.
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My hubby didn't have this issue, fortunately. I have seen many people posting about this, but I haven't seen any follow-up comments. This leads me to believe that it's a passing phase. It may not last longer than a few months. There's a lady in my support group whose husband just began doing this. The interesting thing is that he has erectile dysfunction, so he couldn't do anything even if she were willing. She's more concerned that he will do something embarrassing in public. I understand that a dose of estrogen can correct this.
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My husband has this issue, but right now it is well controlled with Cimetidine - which is generic Tagament! My PCP researched hypersexuality in elderly men with dementia, and found several studies that showed improvement with this medication. He was not only always bothering me and in very crude terms asking for sex, but he also couldn't keep his hands off other women and was always propositioning them, too. He is in Memory Care and there was no way this behavior could be tolerated. I was amazed at how well it works, and it doesn't have the sedating side effects of other medications. Definitely ask your doctor about it. My DH is 78, and has ED, but that didn't stop him from groping and asking. Good luck! It is one of the most difficult stages we went through, and without medication I am pretty sure we would still be dealing with it.
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definitely talk to his doctor about medication. No way to know how long the behavior will last. I don’t recall it being listed in the Stages chart as it depends on the portion of the brain affected and doesn’t affect everyone with dementia or Alzheimer’s.
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Hi, I thought I would chime in here but I’m sorry that I don’t have the answer for you, just support and a similar story. I have been through constant hell with this issue. I hate it and I have to deal with it every single day. My DH has sex on his mind all the time. We are 7 years into seeing signs of Alz and he was diagnosed in 2020. I would say the desire for sex has been there and becoming more and more pronounced over the past two years. I have been hoping this phase will pass but it is lingering and his urges are getting stronger. He is in stage 5. My patience and tolerance are being tested daily. I will try the generic version of tagament as I see it mentioned above. No doctor has given me any meds to help him even though we have a regular physician, neurologist and geriatric psychiatrist. It’s so darn hard and I really feel for you, Christy
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Thank You! I was hoping when he reached stage 5 it was subside but maybe not. I will talk to his neurologist
about medication. I certainly don't want to do this for the next two years. My DH was formally diagnosed in 2022 but we have been dealing with this issues for many years prior. At least I can still go to work. I know the message is we have to live in their reality but is one area I will not budge on.
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Would an increase in his Zoloft help with this?
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Increase in antidepressant did not curb it for my DH. We added more Effexor and tried Prozac on top of his other antidepressant. I learned that antidepressants don’t curb the urges they can just make is more difficult to experience orgasm.
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Zoloft helped me in many ways, but not with that. The fact is that men are cursed with a desire for sex from puberty to the end of our lives, even after we can't do it anymore. Most of us realize we aren't going to get any and would regret it if we did, and stop mentioning it, but a man with dementia loses that wisdom.
Picasso was having children in his 90's. Just saying.
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Oh my gosh. My DH developed ED about 20 years ago and even the little blue pill didn't help. "Trying" was so frustrating then that we both decided to just "age gracefully." Now, all of a sudden, he wants to start up again. He is almost 90 and I am older than dirt, as well. This is not a game that I want to play anymore. I appreciate the suggestions for medication and I will definately be talking to the doctor if this continues.
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A note from the other side. My wife has not wanted anything to do with me physically for several years and that is hard too. I would like to feel wanted and cared about for more than just what I can do to take care of her. I think I understand your feelings and it would be very hurtful if they are making advances on others. I guess I don't really have anything to add that will help, but I do think being over sexualized would be harder but not feeling close is the other end and they both are bad. Sorry no help.
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My husband was so hypersexual, and was constantly physically trying to force me into having sex - which he couldn't do, but had forgotten that part! He is now in memory care, but was also bothering all of the female staff, and it was becoming a huge problem. His PCP researched the problem and found that Cimetadine - which is the generic for Tagament - twice a day curbed those issues in elderly men with dementia. It has worked!!!! He has completely stopped this behavior, and it is such a relief! Check it out online, and ask your doctor to try it. The good thing about it is it doesn't have any side effects and doesn't make our loved one any more drugged. Good luck - this was such a painful time for me and I am so happy to have it behind us!
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Thank you. I will research it. It seems to have subsided some for now. But still pops up every now and then. Fortunately, we was never forceful just handsy. It gets old. Constantly having to live like this can wear on a person. Then he sometimes doesnt even remember we are married.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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