Finding something for her to do

First of all, welcome to the forum, though I am sorry you have a reason to be here.

This was one of the most difficult stages my DH went through. Loss of executive function (the ability to initiate or follow through activities or perform any but the very simplest of tasks) happens early in the disease. Along with loss of executive function comes apathy. It takes a great deal of mental energy to function, and he would require long periods of mental rest. I assumed my DH was bored when he was not.

Since she loves music, can you find a streaming channel of music she enjoys? There is no right or wrong way to fold towels, and that is something she can do over and over. Some PWD like to do very simple chores like sweeping or dusting. Others like books with lots of pictures (think coffee table books). It is a challenge to us caregivers to be creative and be flexible. What they can do and enjoy one day they may be totally incapable and not interested in doing the next.

DH loved to sit in his recliner and look out the window. I positioned his chair so he could see down the block and watch the comings and goings. I also hung birdfeeders outside our living room windows where he could see them. He would watch "Neighbor TV" and "Bird TV" (as we called it) for hours. Always a very active man, he could still lift light hand weights and do seated leg lifts. Now that he is in late Stage 7 and lives in an ALF, he still enjoys looking at certain things on TV even though he doesn't comprehend what he is seeing.

If she is truly depressed, her PCP may be willing to prescribe a mild antidepressant medication.

A fidget blanket might be something that would keep her occupied.

Oh I get what you’re asking now. I have no ideas. I have the same problem. My DH and I used to spend weekends watching football and totally enjoyed it. Now he cannot follow it or any conversation at all. I can’t find anything that he enjoys on his own. I’m pretty sure he’s just not capable of doing things on his own anymore. I miss the days when he worked on 60 piece puzzles for 3 to 4 hours and he loved it. I could run an errand knowing he’d be sitting right there when I returned. It was great. That went on for years. Then little by little, he struggled to complete them until it reached the point where he could not even put 2 pieces together. So sad!

I don't know if sweeping, dusting, wiping counters… things like that would be helpful? I mean, I could dust everyday at my house. It might help. Just a thought.

as some have said, we try to go out with DH somewhere every day. It gets tedious, but always settles him and he then naps. We often go to the local convenience store! In our area it is7-11, they have a nice coffee bar where you can customize your beverage for much less $ than Starbucks. Also think Tim Horton, WaWa, etc.

Regarding folding towels….DH forgot how to fold, but sometimes can sort laundry, a less skilled task: mix in small items with towels and ask her to separate it all, especially if towels are one color and everything else different colors.

"I am looking for something for an active person that has major cognitive issues to do on her own for a while to allow me to do something else." sadly —if only— there is no work around the "major cognitive issues"— is there adult day care in your area - you could "sell" her attending that they could use volunteers [with her nursing background ]— or look into hiring a person to be with her - saying they are a friend that needs work - they could do housework but mainly the helper would be there as a companion so you can run errands , take a nap , breathe for a bit .

The other thing , she may still say : "I can't just sit here all day " after a 4 hour session walking or cleaning with you or a companion. It's difficult to not take what a PWD says at face value but sometimes they are in a loop and/or unaware. [Like saying "when is lunch?", with the crumbs still on their lips].