I can’t !!!!

So so so sorry😔it’s good that you are venting & please continue to do so!!!!! We are all here to give each other support……..you are not alone. My DH has some similar behaviors & some others that annoy the heck out of me🙆🏻‍♀️I too am often at my wits end…….is he on any medication? Medication may help to calm his anxiety…..again, hang in there🥰

The posted descriptions of behaviors of your LO’s and your emotions mirror my own. Then I throw in guilt when I react unproductively to his behavior.

I feel most days as if I am not really living—just going through motions I don’t want to go through. The really, really hard part is that my DH and I are only at the beginning of this disease. I simply don’t know if I have the emotional or physical strength to persevere.

We totally get it. They shadow you because they are lost and you are their anchor in their world that is falling apart. They are anxious and afraid. Sadly, this is your new world unless you find day care or memory care. I only did things when my husband was sleeping. That's when I made phone calls, worked on paying bills or played on my computer, read, watched what I wanted on TV. I gave him simple tasks to do like folding clothes or setting the table. I put the TV on old Western movies. Hint: On any topic, you can search on the Alzheimer's website and find answers either in the forum or in their documents. Here's a link to one about Shadowing: https://www.alz.org/media/cacentral/dementia-care-39-the-light-beyond-shadowing_1.pdf

Also did a quick search on Google and found this: "To deal with "shadowing" in dementia, which is when a person with dementia constantly follows you around, try to address the underlying fear by providing reassurance, distractions with calming activities, a predictable routine, and sometimes even recording yourself doing daily tasks to give them a sense of security when you're not around; avoid conflict and focus on understanding their needs rather than correcting the behavior"

Yes, yes, yes, I hear you, and Amma, you are not alone. I think you should scream. Release that anger and frustration. Cry and stomp; whatever you feel, release that feeling. You should not keep it bottled up inside you; it's unhealthy. This is not an easy life to live, and I can only imagine. I've only been living with my DH with this disease for about 1 year now. Some days, I wonder what's next. Please take a deep breath and try to get through the day. I pray for all of us living with loved ones with this disease.

I was amazed when I found out that most of us deal with the same shadowing thing. My DH has a chair that he now sits in in the kitchen so that he can follow my every move and often is in the middle of things getting a drink, making coffee, etc. He has never cooked or helped with any housework, so having him fold or make anything doesn't work. I've gotten used to it and don't expect any privacy, even in the bathroom anymore. I also can't make or take phone calls…need to call my doctor to tell them that I can't drive two hours to have a meaningless test that I won't be able to follow up on anyway and need to call my elder atty but can't because he will listen in and interrupt…they are closed at night, so if they don't have email or texting abilities I just have to let it go. I used to be able to take the dog for a ride in the golfcart and try to handle business then (not easy), but now he always comes with me so can't. I'm losing my enthusiasm for pretty much everything anyway…can't imagine what shape I'll be in at the end of this journey.

Same here. When I am home he always comes and finds me. While I am cooking dinner or any meal he will stand there and watch me. I usually send him to the living room to watch TV but that only lasts a few minutes and hes back. Sometimes the staring can feel right creepy but I just try to ignore it best I can. Fortunately, he seems to be out of the anger phase but can get depressed. I will ask him sweep the kitchen floor while I am doing housework usually knowing I will have to go behind him. Yesterday I was vaccuming upstairs and he came up and just watched my vaccum. I was on the phone with a friend the other day and he came into the room pointing at his open mouth like please feed me. Sometimes it feels like when my kids were little!